Kurt Ryan

I'm a comedian and a writer on the autism spectrum.

[Kurt Ryan @ComedyRyan]

This is probably gonna be my pinned tweet

[Kurt Ryan @ComedyRyan]

@itsmegangraves The last one.

[Kurt Ryan @ComedyRyan]

Autistic men like me be like I know a spot and it’s a train store.

[sarah lugor! @sarahlugor]

men be like:
i respect u...

can i get nudes now! 😃

[wint @dril]

tj maxx stands for trader joes maxx.. But yotre not allowed to say that anymore!!! Oh!!!

[Mr Sarcastic @raymondh3h3]

When I get a girlfriend, what do I feed it

[Rachel McCartney @RachelMComedy]

If "white actors shouldn't voice POC characters" becomes "straight actors shouldn't play gay characters" I will lose it. I'll never fuck Cate Blanchett but it is my right as an American to watch her suck face w Rooney Mara under $10,000 lighting and you will NOT take that from me

[Drew Landry @MrDrewLandry]

replace 👏🏻 every 👏🏻 confederate 👏🏻statue 👏🏻 with 👏🏻 a 👏🏻 statue 👏🏻 of 👏🏻 Afroman 👏🏻

[Niccole Thurman @niccolethurman]

3 months in and I still forget that when you smile at people with a mask on they can’t see it SMDH

[Gene Meyer @GeneMeyerLOL]

I stopped hanging out with my childhood best friend because I got really into Limp Bizkit and he only liked Broadway show tunes.

20 years later he’s a realtor in Manhattan and I’m still just really into Limp Bizkit.

[Sam Morril @sammorril]

Wow just read that everyone who is anti-mask wears Oakley sunglasses

[Kurt Ryan @ComedyRyan]

Gonna be doing my first live comedy show after four months soon. Hope I remember how to fuck the stool properly.

[Ben Leary @benlearyy]

i’m bisexual. I love both dick and cock.

[Drew Landry @MrDrewLandry]

check out my new article

https://t.co/27AM3t3teE

[J.P. McDade @jp_mcdade]

Been getting into a little classical music, but they’re mostly live recordings so every now and then you get old people coughing on the track.

[J-L Cauvin @JLCauvin]

Flo Rida has changed his name to Co Rona

[Amy Silverberg @AmySilverberg]

My dad just texted “please call it’s an emergency” and I when I called he said “MOM MADE SPAGHETTI!!!!!!”

[Kurt Ryan @ComedyRyan]

@DevonESawa Love that movie. It’s a classic