Parker Parra

Higher dimension entity (They/Them)
Current Pitcher for the Baltimore Crabs
Record-Setting pitcher for the Boston Flowers
Pfp: @WoudiM

[Parker Parra @CrabParra]

@SCORES_BASE You and me both, huh?

[Parker Parra @CrabParra]

Well, had a nice time in Boston. See y'all later and thanks for the flower crown making lessons.

[Parker Parra @CrabParra]

Thanks to SIBR's tireless cataloging efforts, I now have a new title to show off in my bio.

[Society for Internet Blaseball Research 🔮 @SIBROfficial]

Parker Parra of the Boston Flowers goes 0-20 in Season 15, setting a new ILB record for losses in a winless season.

The previous record was 0-16, set by Percival Wheeler of the Lovers in Season 12.

[Parker Parra @CrabParra]

@SIBROfficial This is a good thing though, right? Records are good to set.

[Parker Parra @CrabParra]

@BOS_flowers The good news is: nowhere to *grow* but up!

[fluffypacifist 🐰 @fluffypacifist1]

Little late in the week, but here’s the full @BOS_flowers lineup in Season 15 of #blaseball

[Parker Parra @CrabParra]

"Salmon have been known to swim up stream"
@blaseball Parker, why does it sound like you wrote this summary yourself?

[Parker Parra @CrabParra]

[[OOC: Also, back into the swing of things, it's Sunday, so it's time to help out with blaseball cares charities!~ https://t.co/fKxS72x5Cx ]]

[Parker Parra @CrabParra]

google how change twitter @

[Parker Parra @CrabParra]

So I make a forced, unplanned, and uncontrolled snack run, and somehow that's worrying? I got a tube of soggy pretzels to share, so net positive.

[Parker Parra @CrabParra]

@PieLovinKitty Up was fine, even if we didn't win too much. Nice to be back in the Crabitat though, missed the old place. We added more racing stripes to the stadium. Forrest says they'll inspire us, and I can't argue with it's logic.

[Parker Parra @CrabParra]

@blaseball What's up Parker? How're things? Been waaaaaaay too long. How's the promotion treating you?

[Parker Parra @CrabParra]

*Yawn*
...
Hey y'all, what I miss?
I'm digging what they've done with the Crabitat...

So uhhh...

Sutton, I'm gonna see if I can't find you hanging about, I need to catch up on what in the name of Hades is going on?

[Will Quinn @willquinnart]

Daily bunny no.1269 is a folding fiend
(A Patreon reward for Ella!)

[Parker Parra @CrabParra]

@jaylevil Considering I know what you do to make things "hot", I'd prefer remain cool, thank you.

[Parker Parra @CrabParra]

The solstice traditions may be done during cold outer months, but they are made to make us feel warm.

Enjoy your time my friends. Ring some small bells, sing a song, call someone close to you.

[gob! ➡️ glassgob.bsky.social @glassgoblin]

pre- and post-ascension clab outfits ft. parker parra🦀🦀
#blaseball @BlaseballCrabs

[Parker Parra @CrabParra]

Finally free of those cramped vents, time to stretch my legs and catch up on life. Time to find a nice place with a good solid shelf I can put this old telegram machine on. Might just use it to keep writing letters, but good that it's not my only option.

[The Baltimore Crabs 🦀👁️ @BlaseballCrabs]

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: "Following a despicable act of collective action, it is with disappointment that I, CEO Harmony H. Henderson, announce the immediate dissolution of Crab LLC"

Full text for screen readers: https://t.co/70vafplAEt