Dakota

[normal person @turbogeniusman]

29 years young and i could buy any sandwich i want without even checking my bank account. won't go into details but i'm in the hundreds

[Bingus @elongatedscrote]

Muslim stripper named shawty arabia

[refriedbuttsects @refriedbuttsect]

telling my son the guy fent folding over there never ate his vegetables

[jokes kerouac @WL71p7MpFi9722]

sex in 2009: take off your shirt and the long sleeve shirt underneath it

[descriptive display name that is way too long and @mrgracemugabe]

Becoming an air traffic controller and every time there’s the slightest problem I tell the pilot to land in the Hudson

[kou ݁ᛪ༙ @slashedhalo]

So did you get groomed on amino kik or discord

[nita lobotomee @nitalobotomee]

it must be national bring all 8 of ur children to walmart and stand in the middle of the aisle day

[pee girl @xmanicprincessx]

Slurpee is false advertising it doesn’t even have any pee in it

[Ryan “Geeb” Gerard @IamRyanGerard]

Does anyone know if Great Wolf Lodge is fake ID friendly?

[yusuke @juanvenchy]

and I know they’re jackin their shit crazy style

[Old Man Rattle @oldrattle_]

farting so loud at petsmart that the parakeets start acting up

[Ethel Caincel @her_eunuch]

genuinely what the hell is my dad's problem

[Nickel @5cented]

Havent jerked off in a week. I can move small objects with my mind now. Im typing this telepathically

[Not Jerome Powell @alifarhat79]

Boomers selling their house for $2 million after buying it in 1965 for 11 raspberries

[rodrick @randmtwtuser04]

if i were a manager i’d let my employees goof off and dick around while i sit in the back office and abuse substances

[jake @wormpuller]

It’s #LetTheAirOutOfYourCoworkersTiresMonday

[via @atrophicbtrfly]

naming my child Gus short for Chungus

[I eat short people @UnderwearStain]

Farted so hard while wiping my ass that it blew a hole through the palm of my hand like Jesus nailed to the cross

[faget83629031852 @faget9261530128]

What if charlie kirk was just stung by a bee in the neck

[mason⸆⸉ 🌊☁️ @portofino_view]

why is dick van dyke an acceptable name but pussy van faggot isn’t