Zach Ehrlich

I used to write stuff for activists, candidates, and campaigns; now I just write stuff | @USC Screenwriter | he/him

[Zach Ehrlich @EachZhrlich]

not to brag, but

[Katherine Argent @effthealgorithm]

Search is full of ads and wrong answers. Every other email is an ad. Prime Video charges you and shows ads. Paramount? Ads. Peacock? YouTube? Hulu? Ads followed by more ads. Netflix full of ads. Meta and X, every other thing is an ad. Pinterest is nothing but ads. AI is in everything. AI finishes sentences incorrectly and won’t stop. AI reads your email and search history to target you with more ads. Every time you open an app or visit a site there’s an update making it worse. In a hurry? First, click here to agree to terms you don’t have time to read and must accept. You need an account to do that. Change your temporary password. Enter your 2FA code. Check your email and enter that code. Now use a passkey. Your password is too simple to remember. Change it. No, not like that. Now log on. Enter your 2FA code. Check your email for a code… Welcome back! We’ve updated our terms of service and privacy policy (you have none). Subscribe to the site. Subscribe to Netflix. Subscribe to toilet paper. Subscribe to these groceries. Pay a membership fee for the right to subscribe then tip your driver who delivers the subscriptions your membership lets you subscribe to. Time to work? We’ve got to update your laptop and will slow down everything you do until you agree to update. But first, click here to agree. Update installed — your laptop’s broken now. It doesn’t matter, since your boss just replaced you with AI. Go to your phone to complain on social media. Wait, your phone needs an update so we can add more AI. Click here. Oh sorry, your phone can’t handle this update. Now it’s useless. Go get the newest phone. Here’s a text from a friend, an email, a voice mail they left three days ago but you didn’t see until now because of sync problems with the cloud. It’s their GoFundMe. Their MLM. Their Patreon. Never mind, you didn’t respond to their text within 9 minutes and now you’re no longer friends. They blocked you. Make new friends. Download this app to find people in your area. In your neighborhood. On your street. Two doors down from you. Do you know this person yet, we think you’d get along. You need an account to use this app. That username is taken. Enter a password. Not that one, you used it on another site. You need to be connected to WiFi to download the app. Allow the app to connect to other devices on your network. Allow the app to access your contacts, know your precise location, store your credit card details. Oops, sorry, we got hacked now all that info is available on the web. There’s a class action suit. You can join. It’ll take a decade to get your $3.73 share of the ten billion settlement. We’ll send it via PayPal or deposit it to your bank, just tell us those details. Oh no, another hack. That info is circulating now, too. Here’s a spam call, a spam email, a spam text. Why are you angry? Why are you talking about getting rid of your phone? Why don’t you like AI, it lets us make all of this easier? Do you know how ridiculous that sounds? This is progress. You’ll be left behind. Do you want to be left behind? Do you???

[Low-Poly Paul Atreides @muaddibstyle]

DAGG DRAPER: Hand. All have hand. Now, you see hand, think, What special? But that it: All have hand. Hand. Is. Us. Hand connect. Hand make think sit in cave, eat mammoth with family. Hand is come home from hunt, hug children. Hand is go away sad, hand is say hello again smile.

[Zach Ehrlich @EachZhrlich]

Casting $200
Locations $150
Cameras $800
The gnarliest medical prosthetics you’ve ever seen in your fucking life $3,600,000
Marketing $150
someone who is good at television please help me budget this. my HBO Max series is dying

[Zach Ehrlich @EachZhrlich]

@Globalflows Where are the marg towers?

[Zach Ehrlich @EachZhrlich]

Conan O’Brien should threaten Oscar winners whose speeches go on too long with [REDACTED] from the ending of Weapons

[Zach Ehrlich @EachZhrlich]

@datgoatisback Sorry to lead you on; screenshots below are about as rude as Ebert has ever gotten (in his review of Rob Schneider’s Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo.)

[Zach Ehrlich @EachZhrlich]

I often think of Roger Ebert’s review of Letters to Juliet (2010), in which he basically says, “yeah, it’s probably mediocre, but it reminded me of my own love story, art is subjective, fuck you, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️.” This is also my take on Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes.

[Zach Ehrlich @EachZhrlich]

@greg_carker @LegoRacers2 @Gompers_Stomper @Sturgeons_Law I did! Future time-wizards are still wizards!

[Zach Ehrlich @EachZhrlich]

@LegoRacers2 @Gompers_Stomper @Sturgeons_Law Hold the line on this; the whole third act of that movie is “a wizard did it”

[Zach Ehrlich @EachZhrlich]

@sbeanayt @xoxogossipgita I like the implication that innies can’t remember their mothers’ eyes, but the knowledge of LeBron is so strong that it survives the severance procedure

[Zach Ehrlich @EachZhrlich]

@BilgeEbiri I just read your review of Between Two Temples today and am slightly surprised it didn’t break in here

[Zach Ehrlich @EachZhrlich]

@WillSloanEsq I've seen some writers and shrinks argue that One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest had a huge influence on psychiatry, the policy of involuntary commitment, and the closure of mental hospitals across the country https://t.co/APeumj7LSu

[Zach Ehrlich @EachZhrlich]

@letgoofmyfannie @THR What’s your favorite AI feature/tv series?

[Zach Ehrlich @EachZhrlich]

@JohnDeVore My first was Scanners and that was a good starting point for me

[Zach Ehrlich @EachZhrlich]

@8qwy9pxzzdIrwin @Jeffersonlives5 @mattyglesias It’s not - JD Vance directly plugged Matt Yglesias’ blog on his own blog like 15 years ago

[Zach Ehrlich @EachZhrlich]

@jan_leidecker @treeline @TrueSlazac Best I’ve ever had is Bunna Cafe in Bushwick

[Zach Ehrlich @EachZhrlich]

@Anunakin @saulnier_jeremy He told the story, he let you enjoy it, then you found him on the internet and got mad it him for celebrating his team

[Zach Ehrlich @EachZhrlich]

@paprbckparadise my partner and I used to steal Andrew back and forth from each other; we now have a Permanent Andrew affixed to our bathroom mirror

[Zach Ehrlich @EachZhrlich]

@LegoRacers2 these were fucking huge in England; I expected them to reach Potter-like popularity in the US and they just never caught on

[Zach Ehrlich @EachZhrlich]

@coopercooperco