Shameless Earnie

Impurvious to disgrace and i'll most likely go down on you.

[eric curtin @dubstep4dads]

when the world goes to hell i want every trump supporter to listen to a recording of them self saying "he tells it like it is"

[mike ginn @shutupmikeginn]

Just heard someone driving down the street honking their horn the whole time. Normally I'd be mad but tonight I think they make a good point

[anJEL @macmotavator]

Trump did not win. Hatred won. Racism won. Sexism won. Ignorance won. I will not recognize a bigot as my leader #HesNotMyPresident

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

The most depressing part of today isn’t that your person might not win.

It’s that the 2020 presidential campaign season starts tomorrow.

[Josh @iwearaonesie]

[clock says 8:00]
"So it's really 9"

- me for the next 4 months

[Alana Benson @LaniBeno]

The older I get the more I enjoy stuff I hated as a kid. Like green veg. And naptime. And spankings.

[Ali Spagnola @alispagnola]

I think I'm gonna be "The 2016 Election" for Halloween. I don't know what that'd look like but it's the scariest thing I could think of

[JackieGeronimo @Whiteoutgirl33]

My goal weight is to have sex with the lights on.

[Trey @treydayway]

I stopped trying to be a thug when I found out there was something called a caramel Frappuccino.

[❤️‍🔥Sardonic Tart❤️‍🔥 @SardonicTart]

I'm super unmotivated today, as opposed to other days when I'm just normal unmotivated.

[❤️‍🔥Sardonic Tart❤️‍🔥 @SardonicTart]

I don't remember what I wanted to be when I grew up but I'm pretty sure it wasn't this.

[batkaren (a/k/a kt roth) @batkaren]

Slow Clap is the most laid back of the STDs

[olive @offbeatoliv]

Any water fountain could be a bidet if you're tall enough.

[olive @offbeatoliv]

Don't have a costume? Try going to your next Halloween party sober and polite. No one will recognize you.

[olive @offbeatoliv]

Does sticking my thumb up your ass during a 69 make it a 70?

[jo @whatsJo]

I'm not sure how you have your foot in your mouth, head in your ass, and nose in my business, yet here we are you fucking wizard.

[Wade @TheWadest]

Chicks love guys with tattoos cuz it means they're willing to commit to something stupid for the rest of their lives...