EricaTriesToTweet

attempting but often failing at most things

[EricaTriesToTweet @EricaWhoToYou]

I just made my husband apologize to me 6 times for not ordering me a lemonade if you’re wondering how easy I am to live with.

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Being unable to walk into an air-conditioned shop without saying “ooh, it’s nice and cool in here”

[EricaTriesToTweet @EricaWhoToYou]

I’m here to tell you that if you refuse to cook, your kids will finally, one day, plan a meal & say they’ll prepare the whole thing but it’s all trick & don’t fall for it because here I am cooking dinner.

[Simon Holland @simoncholland]

I opened the dishwasher and it's full of clean dishes and I'm scared my wife is going to know that I know.

[SpacedMom @copymama]

I’m no parenting expert, but I can tell you that one day you’re gonna see a random balloon float through the room out of the corner of your eye and it’s gonna scare the shit out of you.

[EricaTriesToTweet @EricaWhoToYou]

@sarcasticmommy4 I’m guessing you won’t receive a first day of school pic from him.

[Sarcastic Mommy @sarcasticmommy4]

*texting my son*

Me: Happy 1st day of 18th grade! 🤗
Him: BLOCKED

[Rich Cromwell @rcromwell4]

I'm not above holding irrational grudges.

[Rich Cromwell @rcromwell4]

I'm better than a lot of people and I'm not even that good.

[Rich Cromwell @rcromwell4]

I feel vindicated, regardless of how big of a deal it is.

[EricaTriesToTweet @EricaWhoToYou]

This guide to Fat Bear Week by @rcromwell4 is the best and most useful information you will find anywhere on social media and perhaps even in the entire universe.

[Rich Cromwell @rcromwell4]

Fat Bear Week is here and I handicapped it for the @FDRLST. This is the contest that matters.
https://t.co/Q1AOhvtiMd

[Rich Cromwell @rcromwell4]

All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.

[EricaTriesToTweet @EricaWhoToYou]

I’m guessing most of us wouldn’t complain about Nancy Reagan’s little astrology habit right now.

[Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO]

[childhood redacted]

[Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO]

We are round, but not aerodynamic in the least.

[EricaTriesToTweet @EricaWhoToYou]

OMG HAVE YOU GUYS HEARD ABOUT THAT NEW WORKOUT PLACE CALLED ORANGETHEORY... oh, you have?
k, nevermind.

[EricaTriesToTweet @EricaWhoToYou]

Those ballots don’t realize how lucky they are. Why can’t *I* be tossed in a ditch somewhere?

[Benny 'Sensible Jeans' Rollins @citizenkawala]

I'm about 3 bad days away from becoming a grizzled drifter in a small town with a mysterious past.

[EricaTriesToTweet @EricaWhoToYou]

I see my college professors here on Twitter way more than I ever saw them when I was actually in college.

[EricaTriesToTweet @EricaWhoToYou]

@BossyBritches72 seems like it’s been super quiet. I mean nothing‘s really happened the last two years.

[EricaTriesToTweet @EricaWhoToYou]

I’m back and don’t give a sh*t what anybody thinks about anything.