Anyone who has ever extracted themselves from a relationship with a narcissistic abuser knows it isn’t clean or easy.
I cringe remembering how many times I tried to play the “cool girl” or fawn in response to what was clearly abusive, coercively controlling behavior by Graham.
I also know how dangerous it is to become the target of a narcissist — so even long after our relationship ended I continued to be upbeat any time he reached out, though I would also immediately shut down any attempts on his part to initiate flirting or romanticizing of the past.
Yes, the day I saw him announce he was running I wanted to make sure people knew he had a Nazi tattoo — and I was terrified he would find out it was me.
But of course he knew it was me.
What’s ironic is I absolutely never would have shared my story if he hadn’t been relentlessly attacking my character behind the scenes for months once the tattoo story came out.
I tried to signal that I wasn’t the source and stayed completely silent about him on social media even as most of my friends posted regularly about what a bad person he is.
But then in early April the New York Times came to me. I asked how they got my number. I said I was not interested in sharing my story. They said but wait—there are other women. Women terrified to tell their stories, too, and you need to band together. WE will help you. We will protect you. Men can’t keep getting away with this.
Hours before their first call to me I saw Eric Swalwell’s name plate get removed from his office door in Cannon. It felt like fate.
I welcomed the two journalists into my home days later, nervous and overwhelmed. Justin Fairfax had just murdered his wife and himself the previous day and even conservative pundits were conjecturing that “if only those women hadn’t accused him of abuse, this never would have happened…”
But I told them my story. I let them take pictures of my diary pages. I sent them screenshots of messages and gave them phone numbers and contacts. It was excruciating. I was surprised by what details I remembered, and as I poured through old messages I was horrified by how much I had forgotten.
I explained very clearly that, like many women abused by their partners, I had not told anyone about his violence at the time—I had covered for and defended it. I accepted his earnest apologies. They said that’s fine because the diary entries and my on the record story was enough.
They connected me to two of the other victims so we wouldn’t feel so alone. I insisted to each of them that I trusted the NYT journalists and that we were doing the right thing despite their (sadly very accurate) sense that something was wrong.
One of the victims and I realized our relationships with Graham overlapped completely - he had been cheating on both of us the entire time we were together.
I should note here that my life is just… beautiful. These are the best years of my life. Raising two young girls in a safe, beautiful neighborhood where I work from home and shuffle my children from dance classes and soccer to church events — I am blessed far beyond what I deserve with wonderful friends and family and the most loving, brilliant husband in the world. Why would I blow my life up like this? Why would I risk the psychotic doxxing from violent leftist activists?
Because while I have been terrified to come forward I decided this was the “hard right thing” to do. The guilt of staying silent has nagged me.
Most therapists recommend a “gray rock” approach to extracting yourself from narcissistic abuse — it works really well, but it is a gift to the abuser, allowing them to persist in their delusion that they’ve done nothing wrong.
I couldn’t stay silent as he continued to lie and lie and lie. I want my daughters to boldly speak out if they’re ever abused as I was.
I’m not a big election fraud guy - but the 24,000 ballot drop showing Spencer Pratt didn’t receive a single vote, is just not realistically possible. Irreducible error rate is even more prevalent when functional literacy of LA is 50%.
@wolfejosh@nickbilton@bariweiss Your newfound clarity post-Trump 45 is a sight to behold. Thank you. And thank you for sharing all the insights you do and supporting the Jewish population and common sense policies.
Not caring about him wheeling six chicks at once when he was married is your choice
Not caring that he pretends to be a populist when he went to one of the richest prep schools in America is your choice
Not caring he went to war saying he always wanted to kill people is your choice
Not caring he went to work for Blackwater after serving and now calls the army very dumb and stupid is your choice
Not caring that he made fun of Purple Heart recipients is your choice
Not caring that he jerks off in porta potties is your choice
Not caring about all the shit he’s deleted on Reddit and he never thought would see the light of day and shows what a giant jackass is he is your choice
Not caring that he is a Nazi is your choice but if you support him and promote him don’t ever lecture anybody about the moral high ground again because you are a piece of shit
The NY Times purported to address the issues with the "dog rape" story but ignores or mostly sidestep the key issues. Here is my response:
1. Sami al-Sai is a confirmed Hamas operative, he had a documented history of working for them, per PA sources, not Israel. He alleged sexual violence against them too, which the PA denied. He is not a credible witness; at minimum his past work for Hamas and the incident with the PA should have been disclosed.
2. Euro-Med and its head Ramy Abdu have a long list of close ties to Hamas, it's not just that Abdu supported 10/7. Significant additional evidence has been brought forth to prove this connection, including close ties between Abdu and Ismail Haniyeh. A Hamas front should not be cited at all. It was not even disclosed in the piece, which was stunning.
3. The testimony from Chile, if you actually read what the victims say, is that there was no penetration, just mounting. One victim said the dog was ordered to "climb on top of me...mercifully, there was no penetration.” No victim claimed penetration. The medical journal cases are based on human initiated contact, nothing as alleged in Israeli prisons. There is no documented example in history of a dog trained to be aroused, mount and penetrate. Never. This should have been noted that the specific claim against Israel is unique in documented history.
4. Several prominent canine experts have made it clear that training dogs to reach arousal and penetrate on command (and anally as alleged) is not possible. It's notable that the article did not cite an expert to back the claim and still has not. Such as sensational claim should have included experts for fact checking. No dog expert has yet emerged that back the assertions in the article. It's a fatal gap in the story.
5. The penetration claims comes from an unnamed "Gaza journalist." However, dozens of Gaza journalists have now been outed as Hamas & PIJ combatants, by their own martyr notices. The fact that his claim is considered by canine experts to be impossible further harms his credibility.
6. Shaiel Ben Ephraim, a key source linked to, and featured in the video, has walked back the claim of "dog rape." On Piers Morgan he said: “the detainee sort of exposed and having a dog sort of seemed like it was about mounting… Whether there’s been penetration or not, I don’t know if there has been or hasn’t.” It seemed dubious to cite a source based in California with no first hand knowledge of the goings on in Israeli prisons. Add in the "Gaza journalist" and lack of a canine expert, and this part of the story falls apart. A correction should be issued.
7. Ehud Olmert said he was misrepresented in the piece. This should be acknowledged and a correction issued.
8. If it's: "It’s impossible to know how common sexual assaults against Palestinians are" as written, then how is it possible to then claim it's "standard operating procedure" as also written? Anything beyond recounting cases of abuse is thus pure speculation. There is no evidence beyond cases of alleged abuse in prisons, which few deny and are unfortunately quite common in prisons worldwide. In the US there were 8,628 allegations of staff-committed sexual misconduct victimizing adult inmates in 2020 - is it fair to call it "standard operating procedure"?
If that addict on your street were your own son, what would you do? That is the defining question that guides my 5 step plan to fix the homelessness problem in LA. We *must* end this evil racket of corrupt politicians and NGOs who profit off the misery of these poor souls. They launder money and feed them more drugs, so they can keep their customers locked in this hell on our streets. We have a moral obligation from God to help them and make our city safe and clean for everyone. Karen Bass and Nithya Raman have forsaken this city. Time for real leadership. Time for real compassion.
@BlacklionCTA I guess I don’t understand your position then. Because I think a majority of people started to see Massie for what he is. His best friend is Ro Khanna. And Tucker. The company you keep…
🚨 BREAKING: BIBI IS TAKING THE NEW YORK TIMES TO COURT
Israel is preparing to sue The New York Times over Nicholas Kristof’s column accusing Israeli forces of horrific abuse of Palestinian detainees.
Prime Minister Netanyahu and Foreign Minister Gideon Sa’ar called it one of the most distorted lies ever published against Israel in the modern press.
@PiQSuite Unfortunately, it’s so political. If a Dem was in office, they’d say we need to cut rates so the average Main Street guy can afford the higher price of gas.