Fake JetBlue CEO Robin

Proudly inspiring humanity and Wall Street. Only CEO of an American airline with a cute British accent. *Not actually Robin Hayes, but you knew that already...*

[Fake JetBlue CEO Robin @FakeRobinHayes]

*Me speaking with literally anyone*

Brain:
“don't say it
don't say it
don't say it
don't say it
don't say it
don't say it
don't say it”

Me: "We’re going to fly to Europe.... Eventually.”

[Fake JetBlue CEO Robin @FakeRobinHayes]

This is flying as the Wright Brothers intended. Don’t @ me.

[Alafair Burke @alafairburke]

My friend who doesn’t have twitter sent this from her flight. It belongs on Twitter.

[Fake JetBlue CEO Robin @FakeRobinHayes]

@FakeOscarMunoz @PrinceValiant16 @dcairports @MiddleSeatView @JetBlue Clearly. We paint “https://t.co/PWUBrZjzIR” on the sides of our engines in case anyone forgets how the internet works.

[Fake JetBlue CEO Robin @FakeRobinHayes]

@AvGeekSupStore Me and @FakeBradTilden are always talking about better ways to merge our underperforming companies!

[Fake JetBlue CEO Robin @FakeRobinHayes]

Apparently we’re becoming a non-profit organization....

[JetBlue @JetBlue]

Time to get packing with #JetBlueFlashFares +Terms. https://t.co/6KD7fG3UKt

[Fake JetBlue CEO Robin @FakeRobinHayes]

I also find it quite admirable of the pax to give me credit for not sitting in first class on an aircraft that doesn’t even have first class.

[Fake JetBlue CEO Robin @FakeRobinHayes]

I use the trash I collect to make art projects in my backyard... I sell for them cash as a side hustle, if anyone’s interested!
https://t.co/isBMULlkYY

[Fake JetBlue CEO Robin @FakeRobinHayes]

@FakeOscarMunoz @huskies626575 @FakeSkymiles @Fakedbastian @FakeAACEODoug @fakespiritceo As long as I am in charge, you can count on our stock never inflating in any fashion.

[Fake JetBlue CEO Robin @FakeRobinHayes]

What a day... I think it’s safe to say everyone was quite shocked!

[JetBlue @JetBlue]

Time to spill the tea. Nonstop service to London from New York (JFK) and Boston arrives in 2021. Yes, on JetBlue.

[kelbin @pissboymcgee]

hey american air my fiancé is experiencing a regular person problem can we please fix this right now. i don’t think u understand, it’s my fiancé. i’m a pro athlete. this adding up yet? ya fix it

[Fake JetBlue CEO Robin @FakeRobinHayes]

If you’re currently trying to watch one of the games on our flights, may the odds be ever in your favour! #MarchMadness2019

[Fake JetBlue CEO Robin @FakeRobinHayes]

We do not collude with the Russians...

[Fake JetBlue CEO Robin @FakeRobinHayes]

THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME

[Runway Girl @RunwayGirl]

JetBlue has teased the prospect of launching flights to Europe for years. Now, under the leadership of president and COO Joanna Geraghty, the carrier might be inching closer to introducing service to London from New York JFK and Boston. https://t.co/qfd23g45ho #PaxEx #AvGeek

[Fake JetBlue CEO Robin @FakeRobinHayes]

If I were in charge of that airline I would have fired the pilots on the spot and locked them in one of those tiny space-flex lavatories for all of enternity so they can’t hurt anyone else...

[The New York Times @nytimes]

A lawsuit against JetBlue says that 2 pilots drugged and raped flight attendants last year and that the airline took no action when it learned of the assault https://t.co/6ZdAJodzh1

[Fake JetBlue CEO Robin @FakeRobinHayes]

Not sure why this college admissions scandal is such a big deal. Bribery is just how life goes... Like when we bribed @Massport with money losing flights to ORH in return for better gates at BOS.

[Fake JetBlue CEO Robin @FakeRobinHayes]

I will direct our PR team to announce our transatlantic expansion immediately.

[Fake JetBlue CEO Robin @FakeRobinHayes]

It’s a good day to be an Airbus operator...

[Fake JetBlue CEO Robin @FakeRobinHayes]

Anyone who thinks LGA is the worst airport in the country has clearly never been to MIA.

[Fake JetBlue CEO Robin @FakeRobinHayes]

@martysg Pish posh, Marty! Long Island City is OURS!

[Fake JetBlue CEO Robin @FakeRobinHayes]

Great job keeping those unions away, @Fakedbastian!

[Delta News Hub @DeltaNewsHub]

As @Delta employees celebrate #ProfitSharing2019 today, the airline has been named one of @FortuneMagazine’s ‘Best Companies to Work For’ #100BestCos https://t.co/BWKiQX3Wmh

[Fake JetBlue CEO Robin @FakeRobinHayes]

We are very excited to continue expanding JetBlue in the Midwest!