Evel

{Avi by @TheUnderfold }

[Evel @FeverFlave]

the power of caffeine propels me

[Marcmywords @Marcmywords2]

.Good Morning
Green Room
Of The
Jerry Springer
Twitterville

[Jude D @heyitsJudeD]

Behind every strong sexy woman there's a man poking her in the butt with a boner

[Jude D @heyitsJudeD]

Good morning to anyone who didn't have sex last night!

The rest of you can go fuck yourselves! Wait, what?

[Jude D @heyitsJudeD]

When he plays with your nipples it's called manipulation, right? Right?

[Jude D @heyitsJudeD]

Sexy lingerie is way hotter than nudes
Do not @ me!

[Kanye’s bhole @bossy_bootz]

I have nothing in common with people

[Kellalena @topaz_kell]

*gets my hopes up*

Hope: "put me down"

[𝓶♡ @Love_bug1016]

find yourself a guy who texts you back as fast as he comes

[Felicia @LostFelicia]

I don't drink a lot, but when I do, I scream sing Flagpole Sitta and mess up the words.

[Chincha @chincha33]

Welcome to your 50s! Not only do you have pill sorters, but their labels are worn clear off.

[Felicia @LostFelicia]

I can't decide if I was this depraved when I got here or if you all made me this way.

[𝓶♡ @Love_bug1016]

if you’re fighting a fight in your heart that you just can’t talk about, i’m sending you hugs

[Lisa, Duchess of Netflix @MsLisaM]

Since we've broken up, there are questions that come to mind, like "Who will I dress up as a Playboy bunny for, now?"

[Cheeky P @0000seapea808]

You can never have too much

~ hoarder’s motto
~ whore’s motto

…and also words to live by

[L(assitude) @lmwortho]

Kids these days do not know the terror 70’s parents engendered with just a withering stare.

[Shade 5 🎬 @Shader70]

Gisele probably made Tom put together an IKEA bookcase and he was like “fuck this…where’s my helmet?”

[Cup ☕f Joe. @I_Bl33d_Purple]

What good is a bestie if you can't unload your psychological sewage on them.

[🇨🇦SueCorvette🇨🇦 ❎ @suecorvette]

me: whatcha thinking about?

him (wondering if we have enough cheese to last the week): just thinking about how beautiful you are