meeeeeeee

[wint @dril]

the fool tries to make one million dollars.... but the wise man knows that its much easier to make $0.000001 dollars one trillion times

[The New Zealand Team @TheNZTeam]

Courtney McGregor takes to the Balance Beam in front of a packed crowd at the Rio Arena #BeTheInspiration

[wint @dril]

we need less mayors and more sayers (of truth )

[wint @dril]

- Incest Prank Goes Wrong
- Why Thousands Of Geniuses Are Ditching Their Aquariums
- Can Plants Make You Smarter?
- Moms Can Get Tattoos Now

[wint @dril]

I do oft in times flush my waste as soon as possible. I have no desire to look at it. I would rather be reading expensive novels to my wife.

[wint @dril]

somebody please Bribe me

[wint @dril]

ME: Are these Vine Ripe
WAITER: Yes
ME: Is this Farm Fresh
WAITER: Yes
ME: Are these "MAde To Order"
WAITER: No
ME: I will notify the police

[wint @dril]

i do enjoy spending my weekends "Joining the Army". oh how i hate when monday rolls around & i must say goodbye to all of my soldier friends

[paperwash© @PaperWash]

when your tweet bombs

[steve suckington @SteveSuckington]

"U can legally stab someone if u suspect they're a Gary."

-no you can't

*pulling knife from sheath*
"Sounds like somthin a Gary would say"

[wint @dril]

(me in prone position while having my house swatted again) officer if u could please just slip the rest of that campbells chunky in my mouth

[wint @dril]

cant wait to hurl them at my foes

[Will Arnett™ @arnettwill]

I live with the constant shame of not being addicted to a podcast

[Will Arnett™ @arnettwill]

It's like people aren't even raising roofs anymore

[meeeeeeee @Genie96]

When ppl in movies n stuff say 'i don't need your money' I'm like?????? I'll have it pride be damned

[meeeeeeee @Genie96]

It's not porn it's art cinema #humphreyisms

[Barack Obama @BarackObama]

"This will not change until the politics change." —President Obama on gun violence #DoSomething http://t.co/kqz7WIShnh

[meeeeeeee @Genie96]

why study when you could stab yourself in the eye and reap the same emotional benefits #examtime

[meeeeeeee @Genie96]

When u have to muster every last scrap of courage will and motivation to get out of the shower and carry on w ur life #thestruggle