Hard Squidward (Grow ur PP 5+ in. - ask me how)

from the streets

[Lil Sasquatch @lilsasquatch66]

So I moved to New York earlier this week and uh… I just bought butter at the Bodega. Yes, you read that right. It’s 7pm on a Wednesday and I just bought butter at the bodega. Am I dreaming or in heaven…someone pinch me please 😅😂. New York, I love you.

[Hard Squidward (Grow ur PP 5+ in. - ask me how) @HardSquidward]

Why did they need a New Testament? What was wrong with the old one?

[Grace Jarvis @gracejarvisohno]

stop glamorising The Hustle and start glamorising whatever lifestyle this is

[Hard Squidward (Grow ur PP 5+ in. - ask me how) @HardSquidward]

She said come thru so I showed her me herpetogaster

[Extinct Animals 🦣🦤 @Extinct_AnimaIs]

Herpetogaster is an extinct cambroernid from the Middle Cambrian. They had a flexible stalk called a stolon & a huge stomach.

(Credit Quade Paul)

[Hard Squidward (Grow ur PP 5+ in. - ask me how) @HardSquidward]

@whatahrush @lherealchieff @SaveVidBot

[Kate @Katiemoneygrabz]

Is this… the worst tweet of all time?

[Hard Squidward (Grow ur PP 5+ in. - ask me how) @HardSquidward]

I’ve been saying this. 7 followers baby

[Amy Silverberg @AmySilverberg]

Every man I’ve been with who has a large penis has also had little to no social media following 🤔 makes u think

[fall out boydyke @WereAllFractal]

@UnciviI_Servant Food addicts: no it's not an addiction bro it's totally safe

Food addicts after a mere 1 day without food: hey bro you got something to eat?

[Uncivil Servant @_UncivilServant]

"im hungry" no you just seek nutrition because you were once a growing child who was dependent on food

[Hard Squidward (Grow ur PP 5+ in. - ask me how) @HardSquidward]

Everyone’s always talking about “funding death squads.” I’m gonna start funding #life squads. Lines of fertile lads and lasses procreating, creating new life, as far as the eye can see

[Hard Squidward (Grow ur PP 5+ in. - ask me how) @HardSquidward]

@PooMcDonald The truth isn’t for everyone I guess @NSAGov @FBI @ShinBetIntl @FinStbBoard @Wendys

[wint @dril]

"it is fine to reuse condoms once or twice if youre just using them to jack off" Can I get an RT !!

[Every Family Guy Frame In Order @efgfio]

Family Guy - Season 01 Episode 06 - Frame 2129 out of 4003

[Hard Squidward (Grow ur PP 5+ in. - ask me how) @HardSquidward]

https://t.co/CL0JbeaeMI

[Thomas de Waal @Tom_deWaal]

1 “The resolution of the Ukraine question.” A mistakenly published Russian article gives us a chilling insight into the neo-imperialist thinking in Russia that drives Putin’s decision to invade Ukraine. A (long) THREAD.

[Illia Ponomarenko 🇺🇦 @IAPonomarenko]

Odessa 🇺🇦

[Hard Squidward (Grow ur PP 5+ in. - ask me how) @HardSquidward]

Think I’ll start following Christ. Goodbye everyone

[Tommy Bayer @tommybayertime]

gonna start tweeting about family guy like euphoria

“Not Peter farting on Meg 😭😂”

[Hard Squidward (Grow ur PP 5+ in. - ask me how) @HardSquidward]

If you feel the need to post your relationship problems on Reddit, you lose the relationship. Sorry. You lose