Jack Ingalls

“Yeah its Wade Boggs’ drinking record okay? The man is a legend. He drank 50 beers on a cross-country flight and then absolutely destroyed the Seattle Mariners”

[a 2nd meaner guy @SolidStapp]

i got Buy Polar Disorder

[🌾🌾dyatlov pastiche 🌾🌾 @muffinlab]

i'm slouching in my chair and watching videos on my phone with the brightness all the way up. i'm dehydrated, my skin is dry and i'm abusing advil. my fit is trash too

[Will Sennett @Senn_Spud]

I keep a baseball bat under my bed in case an intruder wants to hang a slider and get taken 450 dead center

[Stringbean McCallister @SpunkityBall]

a couple weeks ago i walked past a guy talking to his friends in a jar jar binks voice saying “mmm! meesa socially liberal but fiscally conservative!” and ever since i’ve been wondering what the context of the joke could’ve been

[Jack’s Picks @Jack__W__Picks]

Let’s go to Gene Steratore who has no idea what’s going on

[🦉 @jbp505]

I’m having one of those hangovers where you’re hyper aware that your gentrifying someone’s neighborhood

[Jack Ingalls @HeyJingalls]

@ThatSportsGamer @ootpbaseball Brock Holt

[Amelia™ @RealiaAmelia]

i don’t think orientalism is good now obviously but if i were a young gentleman of means in 1802? sure i’d take an interest in the mysteries of the east

[chase @funnysmartguy12]

yo i’m in a shithole motel in a shithole country and two people just came into my room what should i do

[Jett 🜲 @iky_fwjett]

how do you text a new friend to hang out without sounding like a democrat asking for money

[Mark @AgingRanchHand]

Threw a boomerang into the kitchen thinking it might bring me back a drink or something like that but it mostly just broke a lot of stuff in there

[stay at home uncle @TJMaxxlover]

Too many glasses of wine around the fellas and I start giggling like chanel west coast

[los :P @suolrac_]

women are kinda like strawberries. sometimes they at the grocery store

[Jack Ingalls @HeyJingalls]

⚾️💎 StatpadGame #17 ⚾️💎

Total Score: 978 SO 🔥

'25 Woo — 198
'10 Price — 188
'95 Nomo — 236
'17 Kimbrel — 126
'12 Dickey — 230

@StatpadGame

[defleppardfan94 @lemonade_grrrl]

if you're a fan of trials you should definitely check out tribulations

[Rusty 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 @ImSmilingRn]

For dinner we're having residue and debris

[Old Man Rattle @oldrattle_]

great clips had to restrain me with barbed wire

[severe engineer @severeengineer]

overheard someone say "konnichiwagwan minna-slimes" at the beer garden the other day and I had to act like I didn't just hear a bomb go off

[She/Her Ohtani @Lizzie_Baseball]

Complimenting a hitter:

He’s cool as a cucumber, got a high motor, makes the hard plays look simple, a player’s player

Complimenting a pitcher:

They named a new type of rabies after him. Babies cry when he walks past. He strikes fear into the heart of his own mother