Timmy

Ava Daniels’s Head Rider ✍️

[Tom Zohar @TomZohar]

Dental hygienists while asking you if you did anything fun last weekend:

[⋆⟢ @cyber_l0ser]

''self care" and it's literally just me having no human interaction for the whole day

[zlongz @TheAvatarLang]

“an old person from 1990-1999”

[Jubby @taeminluvr7]

hesty serving cunt and her son serving Inconsolable fear of the unknown

[pawle @lofrotomy]

guy named richard: please, call me penis

[pinkie @pinkamaniaa]

can't stop smiling in inappropriate situations forgive me father for i have grinned

[professor breeze phd @muad_diva]

Telling someone “it’s on Tubi”

[hey @loveheqrts]

the balloons inside the box at the gender reveal

[mak @matchageekbar]

“whose pussy is this?”…ours, comrade ☭

[ً @artfuIchaos]

i love BDSM (buying dumb shit for myself )

[max @m4xochism]

asked for the wifi at a pizza place and the password was “Pepperoni”

[+ @lkhdme]

if a bagel can have everything, SO CAN I.

[Antidepressant Content @depressionlesss]

no community note…??? IT’S REAL..

[spongebobham2billion @spongebobhamtwo]

Using the phrase "I'm willing to bet my life on it" as a way of saying I'm like 60% sure

[2Karious Donell Johnson @shayxonline]

i hate staying the night @ a man’s house that shit always feels like sleeping in the woods to me

[UwUTangClan @Executivejeff1]

not my piss, not my pants

[matt @ruffledsavior]

stop calling my thing a hog. it's a cute little piglet. with manners. you're being gross

[Gale Na @poisonjr]

Promiscuous squirrel you're teasin' me you stole all my nuts now you're up in that tree

[april @yogurtslop3]

jerkin hard or hardly jerkin

[ꕤ @rakkofan]

i wake up, i cry over spilt milk, put all of my eggs in one basket, bite off more than i can chew, jump the gun, fly off the handle and then die on that hill