Jeff 🐊

Native Floridian | BTC hundredaire

[Jeff 🐊 @JPriceOrlando]

Hell yeah I like DEI

D ale
E arnhardt
I ncorporated

[Jeff 🐊 @JPriceOrlando]

@SirajAHashmi NAILED IT

[Jeff 🐊 @JPriceOrlando]

@LibertarianG0th @CountDankulaTV Do you still own this t-shirt?

[Dolly Parton @DollyParton]

Happy 250th, America! ❤️🤍💙

[Nerdrotic @Nerdrotics]

May the wings of liberty never lose a feather.

[Jeff 🐊 @JPriceOrlando]

Americans charging their phones so they can film hour-long fireworks displays tonight

All that can power ….

New a/c for the entire European continent

[Jeff 🐊 @JPriceOrlando]

@FischerKing64 The magic number is 420

[The Drunk Republican @DrunkRepub]

“Stop giving Communists citizenship.”

[Jeff 🐊 @JPriceOrlando]

@TheWapplehouse @ass_beaters https://t.co/joukARLbW7

[Vials @hisbelovedsleep]

America is the greatest country on earth, and no, it doesn’t need an asterisk to caveat all the problems we have, past or present. It’s just a true statement as is. If you disagree with this, then you are just a jaded contrarian faggot. But that’s okay, because I have good news: You can use America’s 250th birthday as the perfect opportunity to stop, even if it’s just for today.

Go spend time with your family. See your friends. Grill something. Set off fireworks. I know this is an extremely hot rightwing take in 2026, but: The Country Is Not Actually Over. No, not every street corner is filled with unhoused Haitian migrants who are cooking dog meat over a shopping cart in the trunk of your stolen Kia. Yes, of course that exact thing is happening somewhere in the U.S. right now, but overall America is still really cool and good, if you’re not ideologically committed to ignoring it. You don’t have to pretend everything is fine, but you also do not have to log on here and act like a blackpilled panican slave (no offense to half of my mutuals). I know you don’t want to hear this, but things right now are actually better for us than they’ve ever been in our lifetime.

I’m sorry you had to find out this way, but your retarded dramatic doomerpost about how EVERYTHING FREAKIN' SUCKS!!! isn’t redpilled political insight. Believe it or not, saying "My Children No Longer Have A Country” on Twitter doesn’t actually fix anything. It simply trains you and your audience to believe that defeat is inevitable, and, more importantly, just makes you sound like a totally impotent cuck who is giving people permission to surrender. The truth is that our problems will likely take decades to solve, and if your only contribution is going to be sitting online and declaring everything is hopeless, then you might as well just kill yourself now, because you let yourself become another demoralized victim of the algorithm that has mindraped you to death with despair-porn from [Account Based In South Asia].

What makes it worse is that you think you are immune to manipulation because you don’t consume (((Mainstream Media))), but your worldview is being shaped just as aggressively by third-world engagement farmers and low-IQ conspiratards. Unfortunately, you stand no chance against the forces guiding your worldview because the real problem is personality type: emotionally reactive, addicted to grievance, and unable to navigate the modern information environment. The ideology is almost secondary. If 3 years ago the For You Page started feeding you progressive woketard content, you would be scheduling your bottom-surgery right now instead of posting about how all the digits in Erika Kirk’s license plate add up to 666 or whatever.

Because of this, you have become indistinguishable from every dark woke anti-American irony leftist who has usernames like Marx Wahlberg. You are not more based than a normie Republican Trumptard because all of the positions you diverge from the MAGA base on is something every transsexual prison-abolitionist DSA candidate already believes in. No, America isn’t a vassal state of Israel being run by Rabbi ZOGnald Drumpf. No, we aren’t The Great Satan arresting people for free speech at the Epstein Empire State Building. And no, the country isn’t over. If your phone didn’t have an internet connection, you would never have thought of any of these things.

So, I am begging you to just be normal today, and appreciate what a blessing it is to be an American. God has providentially given this land to us. It is good that this country exists. It is good that generations before us built, fought for, and preserved something worth inheriting. Don’t spend today trying to prove that you are the one person brave enough to hate the 4th of July, and how that makes you the Real True Patriot in the room, because we all think it’s embarrassing and we talk about how gay you sound in private group chats.

America is not beyond saving, and it’s not reducible to whatever hysterical version of reality gets pumped into your feed every day by ragebait slop accounts. Instead of making some performative post about how you can’t celebrate the United States Semiquincentennial because we’re a homosexual brown hellscape, you should go outside and look around. There is beauty everywhere and there are people worth knowing. Our land is still here, our people are still here, and we will have our home again, with or without your help because, like I said, you are just kind of a huge worthless faggot.

[meme bastard 🍕 @mask_bastard]

fun fact: there are two American flags in this photo

[Django Gold @django]

at Taylor Swift's wedding rn, and there's a waiter going around asking if people want cut-up hot dogs in their mac and cheese or not

[Jeff 🐊 @JPriceOrlando]

@centristpeater And yet ... I saw him getting off a bus wearing a chest purse lol

[Jeff 🐊 @JPriceOrlando]

@AuronMacintyre Audience capture

[Jeff 🐊 @JPriceOrlando]

@rrhetorical You should be planemaxxing

[Rob Romano @2Aupdates]

Anti-gunners, 2024: "Kamala Harris isn't anti-gun, she owns a Glock!"

Anti-gunners, 2026:

[Being Libertarian @beinlibertarian]

The Reflecting Pool is green because it never recovered from Jenny giving it AIDS.

Thanks Fauci.

[Jonathan Newman @NewmanJ_R]

Just want to make all the Europeans aware that this little closet for storing tees at a little league baseball complex in Alabama is air conditioned very nicely.

[Dr. Richard Harambe @Richard_Harambe]

Just like in football, tonight Travis Kelce scores a 6