bruh.

Publix enemy no. 1

[King of Phinland🐬👑 @KingOfPhinland]

They’re gonna have to flex this game to the Hallmark Channel

[Sealette 🍂 @PeatyDarkseal]

if you like penis coladas… and getting shot in the brain

[champabayceo @champabayceo]

#NewProfilePic

[𝟕 @I7VING]

Zac Robinson makes me want to try fentanyl

[champabayceo @champabayceo]

DEPORT TODD BOWLES AND ZAC ROBINSON BACK TO AFGHANISTAN THEY ARE MEMBERS OF THE TALIBAN AND ARE COORDINATING A SLEEPER CELL IN TAMPA

[project hail maggie @courtsanthem]

serving cunt and the empire

[turbomander (TWITCH AFFILIATE ERA) @turbomander]

"midriff"? heh. trust me buddy, there ain’t nothing mid about this riff *starts playing enter sandman poorly*

[NurseBrianRN @rn_murse]

well, could a depressed person do this!?!? (lays on top of bed in a damp towel for 14 hours)

[Lark @king_of_limb]

dishonorably discharged from The Mickey Mouse Club because I backed over Pluto in my Toyota RAV4

[NONBINARYFAN @NONBINARYFAN]

dont Be afraid to Reach out for Help. Even a Hamburger needs its Helper

[Employee Tears @EmployeeTears]

Get ready liver, daddy got yelled at in a teams meeting today

[Jordan Maison @JordanMaison]

Ask not for whom the Scrib Doons; it Doons for thee.

[PHILADELPHison @AddisonDJenkins]

quite literally the most skillfully designed quote tweet I have ever seen

[John Fadule @fadule_]

Catholics: “The pope is right.”

Protestants: “The pope is wrong.”

Jon Gruden: “Tight Ends shouldn’t wear single digit numbers man. It’s downright soft. Imagine Rob Gronkowski wearing number 2? Tell you who looked good in number 2 was Derek Jeter. That was a cool guy man. Pull up the first pitch George Bush threw at the World Series.”

[Work Retire Die @WorkRetireDie]

HR dragged me outside and blew my head off JFK style because i didn't sign up for benefits in the first 11 seconds of the open enrollment window

[garshmo @garshmo]

I could beat a guy in chess in one move it’s called the tombstone piledriver

[cheeks @cheekclapperXL]

the lonely boner seems to free his load at night