Johny B

Sports [ #Gunner, F1 #LewisHamilton ... ], Music and so on. I will not propose to you that my way is best. You either go hard or go home.

[🇨🇭🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿InLucysHead🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇨🇭© @InsideLucysHead]

This message is for those who appreciate the finer points of the English language...

His Lordship was in the study when the butler approached and coughed discreetly.

"May I ask you a question, My Lord?"

"Go ahead, Carson ," said His Lordship.

"I am doing the crossword in The Times and found a word the exact meaning of which I am not too certain."

"What word is that?" asked His Lordship.

"Aplomb," My Lord.

"Now that's a difficult one to explain. I would say it is self-assurance or complete composure."

"Thank you, My Lord, but I'm still a little confused about it."

"Let me give you an example to make it clearer. Do you remember a few months ago when the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge arrived to spend a weekend with us?"

"I remember the occasion very well, My Lord. It gave the staff and myself much pleasure to look after them."

"Also," continued the Earl of Grantham, "do you remember when Wills plucked a rose for Kate in the rose garden?"

"I was present on that occasion, My Lord, ministering to their needs.

"While Will was plucking the rose, a thorn embedded itself in his thumb very deeply."

"I witnessed the incident, My Lord, and saw the Duchess herself remove the thorn and bandage his thumb with her own dainty handkerchief."

"That evening the hole the rose made in his thumb was very sore. Kate had to cut his venison for him, even though it was extremely tender."

"Yes, My Lord, I did see everything that transpired that evening."

"And do you remember the next morning while you were pouring tea for Her Ladyship, Kate inquired of Will in a loud voice,

'Darling, does your prick still throb?'

And you, Carson, did not spill one drop of tea ?

That, Carson is complete composure, or aplomb."

[Nahashon Kimemia @NahashonKimemia]

US Presidents have 2 official residences: the White House & Camp David. In other words, 1 state house & 1 state lodge.

Currently, Ruto has about 15 official residences: 3 state houses & approx 12 state lodges. He wants to build another lodge in Meru.

Are Africans normal? 🤔

[Joyce Nyairo @jnyairo]

When KALRO and KEBS warn us there is aflotoxin-laced cereal in the country, and that it has cancer-causing agents, what do they want us, as consumers, to do?
Do we have the means to trace, mop up—and prosecute those selling— toxic grain?
Why does GoK stop at WARNING the public?😮‍💨

[Arsenal @Arsenal]

Bottle this feeling 🍾

[Alfayaz 11 @Alfayaz11]

My engineer brother @MuriraKinoti and his team at @KURAroads are truly standing out for their superb work. On 18th March this year, I posted the rubble and unfinished drainage works left behind on Brookside Drive. Mind you, this was shortly after they had apparently repaired the road and drainage towards the end of February.
Today, I must say that in less than three months, the place has transformed into yet another masterpiece. We must also never forget to commend the other multi-agency stars @KeNHAKenya, @ntsa_kenya and @047County who work so seamlessly under the famous one government approach to make Nairobi beautiful, safe and functional.

The pictures speak for themselves, a true reflection of the hard work, dedication and brilliance poured into making Nairobi great again, by the way the place has this seductive sewage scent all around. I do hope my brother can kindly share the contractor’s contact, as I have some work I need done.
1/2

#ReclaimNairobi

[Arsenal @Arsenal]

This belongs to all of us.

[Alfayaz 11 @Alfayaz11]

Almost every week for close to three years now, I have been highlighting the pathetic state of Westlands and its environs to the relevant authorities, from @047County to @KURAroads and @KeNHAKenya , yet to date, no meaningful action has been taken. I even went a step further and engaged my brother @MuriraKinoti personally, very objectively. At first, it all seemed positive. The confidence, assurances and promises made gave the impression that someone was genuinely concerned and willing to act. Unfortunately, it seems the kitchen got too hot and he chose to bolt.

Like I always say, we must stop celebrating mediocrity and accepting poor standards and poor service. We are the employers. We are the taxpayers. We deserve better.

It is what it is.

As usual, pictures in the thread.
1/5

[Alfayaz 11 @Alfayaz11]

When systems fail, it is often the ordinary citizen who must step in to do the job the system was meant to do. That alone says enough. My brother @MuriraKinoti and @KURAroads I told you that I am a man of my word. The only thing left now is that cake, which will be delivered to your office sometime next week in commemoration of the one year anniversary of the potholes. A big thank you to Michael the property manager at Spring Valley Business park and his Team.

[WithoutHistory @WithoutHistory]

Guess who is opposing Dangote’s proposal to build a 1.2M barrels a day refinery in east Africa (Tanzania, Kenya and Congo)

World Bank and IMF. : )))

Their argument? it would give monopoly to one company over energy.

1) All the while, French refineries are in almost every oil producing countries in Africa.
2) No African countries could get a loan to build a refinery larger than 400,000 barrels per day (one of the most profitable businesses ever). So the majority are small and struggle for profitability.
3) Nigeria oil had to be exported to Europe, refined and in many cases sold back to Nigeria and ECOWAS countries, under companies like shell and total.
4) it took until a billionaire financed the refinery in Nigeria himself to change part of that production and supply pipeline. And today, after the Hormuz blockade, EU countries are now buying oil from Dangote.

[Nanyuki Billionaire🇰🇪 @lewis_ngunyi]

Kenyans, I need your help. Please read through 🙏🏾

Do you remember this story of this young girl that died in Nanyuki as a consequence of being mishandled by the police during the protests crackdown last year?

Remember this account @D__wy (Darwin)? He was present at the police cells when it happened? He's the one who identified the officer who brutalised Julia (God rest her soul) and stood bravely as a willing witness to this case.

Well, as at today, Darwin has been in police custody for 3 weeks. Here's his charge sheet. He's being charged with the offense of trafficking narcotics (heroin, mind you) and the officers behind this case have been frustrating the legal process, failing to produce documents relating to the case etc.

Darwin is being held in Nanyuki prison, having struggled to raise Ksh 50k bail set by court, (has been there for 3 weeks now). The idea of these false charges is to set the cost of civic participation so high to the individual that they refuse to take part in collective efforts if it ever got to it.

I've paid this price myself before. Steep. Painfully. And the state has the capacity to grind your life to a halt, long before people remember why they're doing this to you.

Now, 2 years ago, @IPOA_KE and security representatives assured me that this victimisation of young politically active Nanyuki youth would stop, and we resolved to maintain peace and calm.

It would appear that there's a growing appetite to test the resolve of Nanyuki residents once more. At a time when there are a million and one other reasons pushing people to a seemingly inevitable boiling point.

Fine.

Let's do it then.

This week, we'll attempt to resolve this matter amicably, as I still retain the almost naive belief that sense still reigns within the justice system, however many times I've personally been let down by it.

Then afterwards we shall explore all other available means as guided by Article 1 of the Kenyan Constitution on the explicit absoluteness of the people's power.

In the meantime, if you'd like to support Darwin's bail fundraiser, please get in touch with me.

Thank you.

[DismasWaTabu @DismasWaTabu]

Another evening to make you even more angry!

I love numbers. Numbers do not lie. They bare open what words cannot express.

The White House annual operating budget is $16 million. Roughly 2 billion Kenyan shillings.

To run the most powerful residence on earth. For 330 million people.

Kenya's State House budget is 16.9 billion shillings. For 60 million people.

We spend eight times more than the White House to run State House.

Eight times! 2 times four!

That same 16.9 billion would buy 16,900 specialized ICU beds.

We currently have 900, with only 100-150 functioning.

Women are still delivering by phone torch.
Patients have no food and KNH oxygen plant is broken.
Nurses striking over salary issues but online goons are swimming in handouts to sanitise evil.

The most powerful country on earth runs its presidency for 2 billion.

The same president who told us to tighten our belts is spending eight White Houses on himself.

It is evident that he told us to tighten our belts. He forgot to mention which ones of us he was talking about.

The numbers have spoken.

Dismas wa Tabu. Dreaming in installments. Billed in full.

[Frank Mwiti @frank_mwiti]

Last week, I met Aliko Dangote at his refinery and fertilizer plant in Lagos.

We discussed how @NSE_PLC and other African exchanges can support what could be Africa’s biggest IPO yet: a $22B offering to expand Dangote’s refinery business.

African capital markets are backing African champions.

The infrastructure is here. The ambition is here.
Africa’s future isn’t being planned. It’s being built.

[Ivar The Boneless @roomthinker]

Watch this space:

1. There will be a Kenya Skating authority
2. It will have a board of 10 members
3. It will have a Director General
4. It will have an office
5. It will have an administrative staff of 50
6. All skaters must pay an annual fee of 5,000/-
7. All skaters must be licensed and registered
8. All importers of skateboarding equipment must pay an annual fee of 100,000
9. All importers must be licensed and registered
10. The authority will have an annual budget of 250 million KES from the treasury

[Daniel @danielholkss]

I don’t really understand the maths it takes to send humans behind the Moon and bring them back safely. And the more I sit with that, the more it genuinely messes with my head even tho my love for physics and my knowledge of physics is astounding to a point

Somebody had to work out a path where the Moon’s gravity is pulling you in, the Earth is pulling you back, and you’re moving just fast enough and not slow enough not to get trapped by either. They had to figure out the exact angle to come back into Earth’s atmosphere too. Too steep, you burn up. Too shallow, you bounce off and drift into space. And they had to get all of that right at the same time, for real people sitting in a small metal capsule about 400k kilometres away from home.

Nothing in that system is standing still.
The Moon is moving.
The Earth is moving.
Even the Sun is pulling on everything. And still, some people looked at all of that motion, all of that chaos, and turned it into numbers you can follow. Go here.
Adjust here.
Come back here.
And unlike nepa light, it infact works.

There’s also that moment in the journey where the crew passes behind the Moon. No contact with Earth. No signal. Just silence, with a massive rock blocking everything they’ve ever known. The only reason they can stay calm in that moment is because someone, somewhere, did the maths and proved they’ll come out the other side.

I don’t know what it feels like to trust something that much. To put your life in an equation when you’re that far away from everything.

But I do know this for sure, whatever that level of thinking is, whatever it takes to reach it, it might be one of the most extraordinary things human beings have ever done...

[Masu Zafi 🔥🔥 @masuzafi]

Palestine's national team played its first European match in a generation against the Basque Country, in a sold-out San Mamés stadium.
While the Basque players walked onto the pitch with children by their side...
The Palestinian players carried white roses instead.
Roses for the children they can no longer hold.

Roses for the thousands of innocent lives stolen in Israel's genocide.
They didn't come for victory on the scoreboard.

They came to remind the world: Palestine still breathes. Palestine still fights.
Palestine is not alone.
In the heart of the Basque people who know what it means to resist nearly 50,000 voices roared in solidarity.

Football is never just a game when your people are being erased.
This is more than a match.
This is memory.
This is defiance.
This is humanity refusing to look away.

Free Palestine.
From the river to the sea.

[𝑲𝒖𝒅𝒛𝒂𝒊 𝑴𝒖𝒕𝒊𝒔𝒊 @KMutisi]

These are scenes only manufactured in Africa….

Lions chase a buffalo… buffalo runs into a river…. Lions camp on the banks waiting …. A crocodile in the river goes after the buffalo…. The drama unfolds ….

[Mohammed Hersi : Mr Optimist @mohammedhersi]

Hotelier’s Diary

When I was a resort general manager, a client—a very prominent lawyer—came to us to host his daughter’s wedding. On paper, he was ideal. In person, he was… a full-time economist with a part-time wedding to plan.

After a few rounds of what I can only describe as price interrogation, my team invited me to witness the situation firsthand.

I walked into the meeting. Within minutes, the man went straight for the jugular:

Client: “Hersi, you people are a rip-off. How do you sell a soda at 90 bob when it’s KSh 15 at a kiosk?”

Now, when someone compares your multi-million-shilling establishment to a roadside kiosk with this level of confidence, you don’t interrupt them. You let them finish. It’s only polite.

Me (nodding slowly): “KSh 15, you say?”

Client (energized): “Yes! KSh 15!”

At this point, I saw it—his master plan. A legal mind. A financial genius. A man who had cracked the global hospitality pricing conspiracy.

Me (leaning forward, inspired):
“Sir, this is groundbreaking. Honestly, you should host the entire wedding at that kiosk. Imagine the savings. In fact, I insist—just make sure I’m invited. I would never forgive myself for missing such an economically efficient event.”

Silence.

Not the normal kind. The kind where even your ancestors lean in to listen.

And just like that… real negotiations started .

Let’s be honest. Some people want a five-star venue, flawless service security, ambience, elegance. A wedding that trends for three days straight

But they also want prices that suggest the event will be held next to a stack of soda crates and a weighing scale.

That is not budgeting. That is wishful thinking with confidence.

Here’s what fascinates me:

You want to “spoil” your daughter with a dream wedding…but the same dream must apparently be sponsored by kiosk economics.

Pick a struggle.

At a hotel, you are not paying for a soda.

You are paying for:

$ The environment that makes you feel important

$ The staff who pretend your stress is not contagious

$ The infrastructure that ensures nothing collapses mid-toast

$ The quiet, invisible machinery that turns chaos into “effortless elegance”

That extra money? That’s the cost of things working.

KSh 15 gets you a soda, KSh 90 gets you peace of mind.

In the end, we hosted the weddin on our terms.

Because if there’s one thing we are absolutely not……it’s a kiosk with ambition.

[Autosport @autosport]

This onboard from Safari Rally Kenya 😲🇰🇪

(via @GreensmithGus)

[Stephen Mutoro @smutoro]

We live in a very strange world
⭕️ ‘Daily Nation’ front page tells two stories:
👉🏽 State House budget doubled to Sh17B
👉🏽 Cancer patients turned away after a machine breaks at KNH
⭕️ One is about entertaining elites & playing partisan politics
⭕️ The other is about life and death
⭕️ Fellow Kenyans, what is the priority here?
⭕️ Isn’t this real madness?

[Kipkoech B. Ng'etich (KBN) @kaborus]

Transparency and accountability in our roads.

Our journey to Singapore will not be realised if the traffic police still arrest people for non-existent traffic offences.

I have been complaining against arrests at Mau Tea road block arising from exceeding 50kmhr limit at Chepseon https://t.co/3gas9VOmUV law,there should be a sign post at the beginning and the end of the maximum speed.Chepseon has none. A mobile sign post kept by the police at the beginning.None at the end.After several fights,they have moved to the bush between Chepsir and Chepseon.We joke too much as a country.

This morning as I rushed to Court,I was flagged down at Mau Tea.I asked for a computer print out for alleged 111kmhr speed.There was none and I accepted to move to court and deal with police excesses and extortion.

I was supposed to be charged before a magistrate at noon and I presented myself on time.There was no charge sheet with the prosecution. At 2pm, I presented myself to the magistrate who was not aware of any charge against me.

I informed him of harassment of motorists by traffic police in our roads and he acknowledged my appearance on the cash bail and directed that the police should not be allowed to sneak in a charge any other day and apply for a warrant of arrest in my absence.

It is time to rid our roads of collection of bribes and extortion of motorists for non-existent traffic offences. My advocate @Wakili Dee Kirui is ready to help me and other victims.