Jonathan Thymius

Actor, Comedian, Last Comic Standing Finalist, Loafer, Quitter, Deadbeat and Slouch.

[Jonathan Thymius @JonathanThymius]

I hypnotized a dear with my headlights. He was trying to get over his crossing the road habit.

[Jonathan Thymius @JonathanThymius]

@thenewYorkBlvd Republicans from southern states. What a surprise.

[Jonathan Thymius @JonathanThymius]

@AndyRichter With crosses swinging from their necks. Wonder how Jesus would have felt having these two Karen’s representing him…

[Jonathan Thymius @JonathanThymius]

Can’t we all just get a long __________.

[Jonathan Thymius @JonathanThymius]

@dhlovelife I’m in! (Remember me, I handcuffed you in the Adam’s Family Reunion but they used the other guy because I was too tall. I was crushed although I think I’m over it now… no I’m not!) Love to you & Neil!

[Jonathan Thymius @JonathanThymius]

@BritishProg David Cassidy

[Jonathan Thymius @JonathanThymius]

@SarahKSilverman He’s a dummy, that’s why.

[Jonathan Thymius @JonathanThymius]

@DanitaBlackwood @joncoopertweets I just tested negative for sympathy.

[Jonathan Thymius @JonathanThymius]

@joncoopertweets I just tested negative for sympathy. https://t.co/A02MeFTgQ8

[Jonathan Thymius @JonathanThymius]

@joncoopertweets I just tested negative for sympathy. https://t.co/A02MeFTgQ8

[Jonathan Thymius @JonathanThymius]

@KTLA Wonder how much he paid her?

[Jonathan Thymius @JonathanThymius]

@paulapoundstone You tell em, UtoteM

[Jonathan Thymius @JonathanThymius]

@banditref @joncoopertweets Another toast to Darwin!

[Jonathan Thymius @JonathanThymius]

@wmjoep @gtconway3d I would add ‘religion’ to the ignorance side.

[Angry Staffer @Angry_Staffer]

I don’t usually share Trump statements, but he’s trying to delete this one.

Twitter, do your stuff.

[Jonathan Thymius @JonathanThymius]

@ericgarland And nothing will happen because the “owners” of this country don’t won’t let it. https://t.co/EpsvTan7g0

[Jonathan Thymius @JonathanThymius]

@OC_Scanner We’re doomed.

[Jonathan Thymius @JonathanThymius]

@paulapoundstone And then on the seventh day, she rested.

[Jonathan Thymius @JonathanThymius]

@JohnCleese At least he combed his hair.

[Jonathan Thymius @JonathanThymius]

@SledgePainter @Lukewearechange That’s right, science is the enemy! Oh wait, I’m holding science in my hand right now!!! Yuck!!!!

[Jonathan Thymius @JonathanThymius]

@dennisjromero Mayor ribbon cutter.