Jordan

he/him

[Jordan @JordanNZ]

https://t.co/t6JC8jLjht

[audrey @phlegmme]

Choosing a good karaoke song isn’t about what other people might want to hear. Their needs should never even cross your mind

[Luke Epplin @LukeEpplin]

You want to feel old? This “Peanuts” strip was published 55 years ago this month.

[Jordan @JordanNZ]

did they release this emoji last night when no one was awake or something where did it come from 🫪🫪🫪

[Jordan @JordanNZ]

at the airport with no belt, no charger, no water bottle

[karen @killmyaffairs]

boyfriEND
girlfriEND
friEND
mandarinas

[Leman Walters @LemanWalters]

Me: Hello Royal Mail can I use the tracking number associated with my order on your website to see the status of my package please?

Royal Mail:

[italian lucite @yurodivys]

Something very baffling just happened to me
A woman came up to take pictures of my snowman, totally perplexed and asked if it's supposed to be Abraham Lincoln and I was like "haha maybe ya, just a snowman" and she exclaims "a what???" And I go "a snowman?" And she says "Abe Lincoln?" as if she's never heard of or seen a snowman, only Abraham Lincoln

[Jordan @JordanNZ]

There are few better things in life than a 12v fridge.

[verynormalman @verynormalman]

Thinking about this again

[Jordan @JordanNZ]

There’s a freakout brewing in my house… in the basement

[Dr. Ellen Walker @EllenFWalker]

Was watching the making-of documentary for Aliens and this part really made me laugh. Bill Paxton was a gem.

[Jordan @JordanNZ]

We're gonna give him a big old pogie for the ride home

[Dr Sean Travers @seanjetravers]

When the morning coffee hits