Jordan Thomas

[GB Politics @GBPolitcs]

🚨NEW: A Daily Mail investigation claims a "shadowy" government unit, named RICU, intervenes to write statements by the families of victims of potentially racially linked incidents to stop them from inflaming tensions further with their remarks

[@DailyMail]

[Marcus Walker @WalkerMarcus]

It is literally insane simultaneously to think that 16 and 17 year olds are mature enough to vote but not mature enough to look at Instagram at 8:30pm. This is comically absurd.

[GB Politics @GBPolitcs]

🚨NEW: Zack Polanski was the only party leader to not release a statement condemning the attempted beheading or send condolences to the victim yesterday

[constans @constans]

If Tesco profits £3b/yr, and they have 80 million visits per week, that means they have 4.16 billion visits per year, and each visit results in £0.73 in profit.

[Craig Spillard @CraigSpillard]

Landlord charges £12,000 rent a year and is charged £6,000 per year on the mortgage interest.

Of that £6,000 profit the government gets £4,536 the landlord gets £1,464

Of that £1,464 landlord has to cover repair costs, etc

Is it the landlord or the government inflating rents?

[Conjob @sambosravioli]

United won the treble in 99 and David Ginola won player of the year while playing for 11th place Spurs. Spare us the performative bollocks. Scott Parker won it in the same year he got relegated ffs. Bruno a more than worthy winner, no matter who you support.

[David Maddox @DavidPBMaddox]

Just pointing out that I broke the story 7 months ago that Mandelson failed vetting from the security services and put it to Downing Street...so the idea that Downing Street only found out on Tuesday is complete nonsense.

https://t.co/9Zp14BGCoD

[Jordan Thomas @JordanThomas_02]

Say no to the roll back

[Jamie Kennedy @jamierkennedy]

Rory McIlroy leads the Masters with an average driving distance of 341 yards.

What's the Masters record?

In 1996, Tiger Woods averaged 342 yards.

[DHH @dhh]

Denmark keeps impeccable statistics on crime, immigration, and, as shown here, crime committed by immigrants. And that's very important because the Western intuition on these numbers is usually completely off. Only remedy is repeated exposure to the data and the facts.

[Jordan Thomas @JordanThomas_02]

Jesus fucking Christ #constitutionhill

[🍁 Potmongs @notpotmongs]

Lets just take a minute

[StarmerOut @ForeverScept]

Tok comedian Pat Smith hilariously points out how bloody stupid our country is.

Comedy has always been a mirror to society.

The only clowns left are the circus masquerading as politicians.

#UK
#Labour
#Tories

[Colin Millar @Millar_Colin]

Keane joked about Carrick's family picking the team for him. Neville said Carrick couldn't be considered under any circumstance as manager. Butt joked about Martinez getting murdered by Haaland as Scholes chuckled along. Excited for this week's soundbites from the podcast empire.

[Mike @Mike87_United]

So many people just misunderstand. Ruben Amorim wasn’t complaining about what Gary Neville said, he couldn’t give a toss what Gary Neville said, no one should. What he DID give a toss about were his own bosses listening to what Gary Neville said. Seeing the problem yet?

[adam. @utdAdams]

Gary is upset but misses the point. He never cared about what Neville had to say. He cared that the board of Manchester United cared about what Neville had to say. Nobody should care about what Neville has to say & that goes for any United manager going forward.

[Martien 🇳🇱 @MartienBall]

Amorim beat this Burnley side and he was heavily criticised because he ‘scraped’ the win.

Fletcher dropped points against the same Burnley side and he’s getting praised because he played ‘attacking football’.

The ironic part?

- Same amount of big chances created in both games.
- More xG generated in the game Amorim managed than Fletcher.

This fanbase is the most confused fanbase in the whole world.

[Adam @AdamJoseph]

I don't think people appreciate how difficult Benjamin Sesko & Matheus Cunha's jobs are today. Look at the players surrounding them & perhaps recalibrate your expectations accordingly.

[PDC Darts @OfficialPDC]

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[Alan Smith @AlanJLSmith]

Suppose that once a week, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to £100.

If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.

The fifth would pay £1.

The sixth would pay £3.

The seventh would pay £7.

The eighth would pay £12.

The ninth would pay £18.

And the tenth man (the richest) would pay £59.　

So, that’s what they decided to do.

The ten men drank in the bar every week and seemed quite happy with the arrangement until, one day, the owner caused them a little problem.

“Since you are all such good customers,” he said, “I’m going to reduce the cost of your weekly beer by £20.”

Drinks for the ten men would now cost just £80.

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes.

So the first four men were unaffected.

They would still drink for free but what about the other six men?

The paying customers? How could they divide the £20 windfall so that everyone would get his fair share?

They realized that £20 divided by six is £3.33, but if they subtracted that from everybody’s share then not only would the first four men still be drinking for free but the fifth and sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer.　

So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fairer to reduce each man’s bill by a higher percentage.

They decided to follow the principle of the tax system they had been using and he proceeded to work out the amounts he suggested that each should now pay.

And so, the fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (a 100% saving).

The sixth man now paid £2 instead of £3 (a 33% saving).

The seventh man now paid £5 instead of £7 (a 28% saving).

The eighth man now paid £9 instead of £12 (a 25% saving).

The ninth man now paid £14 instead of £18 (a 22% saving).

And the tenth man now paid £49 instead of £59 (a 16% saving).　

Each of the last six was better off than before with the first four continuing to drink for free.　

But, once outside the bar, the men began to compare their savings. “I only got £1 out of the £20 saving,” declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man, “but he got £10!“　

“Yeah, that’s right,” exclaimed the fifth man. “I only saved a £1 too. It’s unfair that he got ten times more benefit than me!”　

“That’s true!” shouted the seventh man. “Why should he get £10 back, when I only got £2? The wealthy get all the breaks!”　

“Wait a minute,” yelled the first four men in unison, “we didn’t get anything at all. This new tax system exploits the poor!”

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.　

The next week the tenth man didn’t show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had their beers without him.

But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important – they didn’t have enough money between all of them to pay for even half of the bill!　

And that’s how it works.

Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy and they just might not show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking overseas, where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.　

For those who understand, no explanation is needed.

For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible.

[Premier Darts Official @PremierDarts]

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