Florence Barnett

One of the hardest parts of life is deciding whether to walk away or try harder.

[Florence Barnett @KiriakLady]

I want to name my 3 kids Ctrl, Alt and Delete, that way If they screw up, I will just hit them all at once.

[Margie Farrar @MrZyurnyaeva]

Ignore me ? Okay that's cool, just don't be mad when I ignore you.. Bitch

[Anita Rosas @uchik1983]

Geez, you dress up like the Grim Reaper ONE time and they never let you back into this nursing home.

[Wynona Parker @lkhvedorets_yd]

No one ever went to the grave saying: "I wish I had eaten more rice cakes."

[Betty Knapp @83_klim]

Fat guy : What are you looking at? Me: The reason double doors were invented.

[Victoria Kite @zaytunya]

Sober, we don't know each other. Drunk, we are best friends.

[Patricia Gallardo @nprunov_q]

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

[Florence Barnett @KiriakLady]

The cost of not following your heart, is spending the rest of your life ... wishing you had.

[Melissa Robinson @81Fil]

Don't break anyone's heart; they only have 1. Break their bones. They have over 206 of them

[Florence Barnett @KiriakLady]

There are two kinds of bitches who don't say much: those who are quiet and those who talk a lot.

[Edith Stich @tsvelev78]

"In my defense, Your Honor, humans ARE animals too. Personally, I think you should blame the petting zoo sign for not being more specific."

[Florence Barnett @KiriakLady]

Cop: You know how fast you were going? Me: I was trying to keep up with traffic. Cop: There`s no traffic. Me: That`s how far behind I am!

[Florence Barnett @KiriakLady]

Minnie told Mickey that she wants a divorce. Mickey said, "Bitch are you fucking crazy!?" She said "Nah, I'm fucking Goofy"

[Florence Barnett @KiriakLady]

My Vocabulary = 50% swearing, 50% sarcasm.

[Florence Barnett @KiriakLady]

Be safety conscious. 80% of people are caused by accidents.

[Florence Barnett @KiriakLady]

My favorite coffee in the morning is the one where no one talks to me while I drink it.

[Florence Barnett @KiriakLady]

1-800-CHOKE-A-HOE

[Florence Barnett @KiriakLady]

Dear new generation, The Lion King was during our generation, Just because it came out in 3D doesn't make it yours. Sincerely the 90s kids