Melissa Robinson

Being nice to someone you dislike doesn't mean you're a fake. It means you are mature enough to tolerate your dislike towards them.

[Melissa Robinson @81Fil]

I think, therefore I'm single.

[Melissa Robinson @81Fil]

My mind was blown when I realized "OK" is a sideways person.

[Melissa Robinson @81Fil]

An autobiography is a book that reveals nothing bad about its writer except his memory.

[Jeanne Schiro @RudalevCool]

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

[Melissa Robinson @81Fil]

The less you give a f*ck, the happier you will be.

[Melissa Robinson @81Fil]

Scientists say vanilla is the most erotic smell to men.

[Melissa Robinson @81Fil]

We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.

[Melissa Robinson @81Fil]

The weirder you sculpt your facial hair, the less likely I am to put you out if you're ever on fire.

[Denise Cordes @85Zosima]

It's not hard to find someone who tells you they love you, Its Hard To find someone who actually means it.

[Theresa Janson @mololina1]

This is how ghetto people count: 1) Wahh 2) Two 3) Three 4) Foe 5) Fieee 6) Sih 7) Selm 8) Ate 9) Naa 10) Teh 11) Lem 12) Twehh

[Martha Plante @StrongUlita]

My best friend and I can do anything or nothing and still have the best time together.

[Melissa Robinson @81Fil]

I fell off a 100ft ladder today..... Luckily I was on the bottom step.

[Vicki Dennie @86Flisa]

If you ever get caught sleeping on the job... slowly raise your head and say, "In Jesus name, amen."

[Melissa Robinson @81Fil]

I'm sure turkeys aren't grateful on Thanksgiving.

[Melissa Robinson @81Fil]

"I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

[Melissa Robinson @81Fil]

That awesome moment when the whole class laughed at what you said, so you just sit there like a boss.

[Melissa Robinson @81Fil]

This is how ghetto people count: 1) Wahh 2) Two 3) Three 4) Foe 5) Fieee 6) Sih 7) Selm 8) Ate 9) Naa 10) Teh 11) Lem 12) Twehh

[Rachel Brown @apynackn]

The 1st was masturbating, but that just made funerals awkward.