London Northwestern Delays

Here from 7am to tell you why you're not getting to work on time. If you don't like our service try getting the bus or walking to work. Parody.

[London Northwestern Delays @LNW_Delays]

Bet our trains journeys don’t seem so bad right now, do they. You didn’t know how good you had it.

[London Northwestern Delays @LNW_Delays]

@callyc1966 Hi Carol. Apologies, but your selfie did not come through properly - I think you need to press the icon that changes to the camera on the front of your phone. We’ll be happy to retweet if you want to try again.

[London Northwestern Delays @LNW_Delays]

@Glen1875 Prolific?

[London Northwestern Delays @LNW_Delays]

Fed up of always presenting your ticket at the barriers? We’ll soon be launching our new paperless rail pass, the easier way to prove you’ve paid us to travel.

Here is a sneak preview of the new rail pass, modelled by one of our happy customers.

[London Northwestern Delays @LNW_Delays]

Why not take advantage of today’s exclusive 2 for 1 offer!

Pay for our delayed service and you’ll receive half- length trains COMPLETELY FREE!

[London Northwestern Delays @LNW_Delays]

Please note: London Northwestern Rail will be running a significantly reduced service over the weekend. This is part of our new scheme to deter trainspotters.

If you do suspect anyone at your station of trainspotting please do not engage with them. They’re usually very boring.

[Clare Foster @fosterclare2]

Totally unacceptable @NetworkRailEUS @LNRailway @LondonNWSpy @LnwRail #cattle #overcrowding @TfL

[London Northwestern Delays @LNW_Delays]

@Downes10Graeme @LNRailway We’ve certainly got that Friday feeling at London Northwestern Towers and sure our customers do too.

[London Northwestern Delays @LNW_Delays]

Just started writing a ridiculous tweet spoofing @LNRailway service, but realised they’re doing a much better job of parodying a train company than anything I could muster up.

[London Northwestern Delays @LNW_Delays]

@lizjazayeri1 Hi Liz. Unfortunately customers were unhappy at the length of time taken to process delay claims, so we took action and dedicated more staff to it. Now you’re unhappy about trains being a bit late because of it. Not sure exactly what we could do to please everyone. Impossible.

[London Northwestern Delays @LNW_Delays]

We have called in additional staff to our head office to help process the high volume of delay repay claims received in the last two weeks. A large amount of these staff are train drivers, so unfortunately today’s services will be subject to further delays and cancellations.

[London Northwestern Delays @LNW_Delays]

A note to our customers. We couldn’t have put it better ourselves, Steven.

[Ste4233 @ste4233]

@Hollyannacoops @LNRailway Some people need to give their heads a wobble
Your train won't be on time every day every year CLOWN

[London Northwestern Delays @LNW_Delays]

It has come to our attention that people may be using this free, easy to use website to keep track of our historic delays and cancellations to make effective delay repay claims. Please don’t. Please.

https://t.co/JjHsw3jMwK

[London Northwestern Delays @LNW_Delays]

@Hollyannacoops @LNRailway Thank you for your tweet. However, we must ask you and the rest of your friends in this photo to stop loitering at London Euston station if you are not intending to board a train. #zerotolerancetoantisocialbehaviour

[London Northwestern Delays @LNW_Delays]

@ModeshiftChair @JohnDJToomey @tamstopps @LNRailway LNW politely request that you stop sharing this petition online. If you do not desist we will be forced to set up our own petition to have your twitter account shut down.

[London Northwestern Delays @LNW_Delays]

A timely reminder to customers about abuse of our delay repay scheme

[London Northwestern Delays @LNW_Delays]

Polite request: we ask you not to monitor train delays and cancellations in order to claim compensation for journeys you never intended to make, as we have no way of ever finding out.

[London Northwestern Delays @LNW_Delays]

@MarcSharp14 @PaulM1c3 @LNRailway A note to LNW customers: Please do not respond to @MarcSharp14. He is a Russian-bot in no way affiliated with London Northwestern Rail. We take full responsibility for today's travel shambles despite Russia's efforts to undermine our culpability.

[London Northwestern Delays @LNW_Delays]

Polite request: we ask you not to monitor train delays and cancellations in order to claim compensation for journeys you never intended to make, as we have no way of ever finding out.

[London Northwestern Delays @LNW_Delays]

@oh_nohetwitnt Yes, it's taken a bit of time to get our new London Nortwestern social media staff skilled up. It actually takes an extensive training programme for them to reach the required level of indifference towards our customers.

[London Northwestern Delays @LNW_Delays]

Due to today's wintry weather a number of our drivers are working from home. Please expect delays and cancellations. We apologise for any inconvenience caused.