Jürgen von Thomeï

ja ok ok

[Jürgen von Thomeï @LeftEyePopel]

Lieblingsbeschäftigung an der bar sitzen mit kollegen beide halten die schnauze

[ol’ stocky ⛳️ @oldstocky]

I can understand why Italians saw this and decided to invent unemployment

[sergio tahini @_sergiotahini]

niemand:

büroangestellte: da habe ich jour fixe

[Vikram Pai @vikpai]

Running a business is just realizing how dumb you were 6 months ago every 6 months

[Punished Cheburashka @reelCheburashka]

The median gay man is a much better person than the median straight man, but an evil gay man is like 10x more evil than an evil straight man

[7/11 Truther @DaveMcNamee3000]

John Travolta debuts new hand pose

[Dan Carney @DanManCarney]

If Christopher Nolan has never used a smartphone then who have I been exchanging tasteful nudes with

[octopus/caveman @octopuscaveman]

Telling the barista at Starbucks i clogged the toilet as Im leaving

[Paul Soter @PaulSoter]

I've looked at this tweet 20x and laugh harder every time.

[Geppetto San Martín 🚬🌭𓅸 @SmalltimeJones]

yes, i know we just witnessed $150 million worth of military equipment blow up on the tarmac but it looked like the jets were having sex briefly so it's worth every penny

[Franz Branntwein™ 🍀 @FranzBranntwe10]

Ist schon alles scheiß teuer geworden. Mit drei Kindern irgendwo einkehren ist schon fast unmöglich...

[u m a m i @u_m_a_m_i]

The CEO of the largest company in the world is just walking around aimlessly tasting random mystery fluids, and you’re bearish?

[໊໊ @juniorkingpp]

I love whenever real candid videos have the exact setup and payoff of a 40s cartoon gag

[Gordon Gekko @GordonGekko420]

Fake Euro summer:
- 5 star resort
- beach clubs
- bottle service
- planned events and reservations

Real euro summer:
- hotel with no AC
- beach town you’ve never heard of
- plastic chairs
- €1 beers
- lots of sitting around doing nothing
- cigarettes

[Jürgen von Thomeï @LeftEyePopel]

@AshvsEvilTran @TrueSlazac Elba is perfect the way it is

[Michael Weiss @michaeldweiss]

European scandals of late:

Meloni: "AI slop is a danger to us all. Just look at the thirst trap they turned me into."

Macron: "His wife beats him because he sexted a hot Iranian actress."

[Punished Cheburashka @reelCheburashka]

She's old enough to be your wife's daughter you sick fuck

[gwen howerton @kissphoria]

having a qui gon jinn summer (gambling on sports, wearing robes, adopting orphans into my ancient religion)