Theodore

Golf, Ski, Fish. Finance and Politics. Pls fix, thx. Grateful Dead

[Theodore @Leverup69]

@JocelynBenson Only if its a one way track and loaded up with you and your pals.

[Theodore @Leverup69]

@JocelynBenson You can't maintain the roads yet you'll be able to build and maintain a high speed rail and the roads? Do you think we're retarded?

[Theodore @Leverup69]

@AdamSinger Scary.

[Angela Belcamino @AngelaBelcamino]

The woman who allegedly went viral for stealing a Knicks-themed trash can reportedly made around $300K as JPMorgan’s Director of DEI after graduating community college with an art degree.

Think about that next time they hit you with another fee.

Would you bank with them?

[Sweet Home Michigan @sweethomemich]

🚨🚨🚨MICHIGAN🚨🚨🚨

This is not satire.

'We're spending $9 million this year to fund horse racing breeders to breed horses to race in Michigan, but we don't have any horse racing tracks'

[Theodore @Leverup69]

@AndreaBitely @gretchenwhitmer

[Gad Saad @GadSaad]

I warned you but you scoffed. You will regret your Suicidal Empathy.

[New town every hour (ret.) @TownsUsa]

world cup announcer just said "the English have struggled historically here in Massachusetts" lol

[Drew @drewdyck]

Panera is the perfect choice when you’re not sick but you’re craving hospital food. And you’re like, my bank balance is too high.

[Theodore @Leverup69]

@GovWhitmer Does anyone believe your bullshit at this point?

[smit @itsoksmit]

at a job interview

"whats your biggest weakness?"

"understanding the semantics of a question but ignoring the pragmatics"

"could you give an me an example?"

"yes i could"

[Calvin @RealCalvin1]

There are 55 million visa holders in the U.S. That's 1 in every 6 people are here on a visa.

Read that again.

[Bill Ables, Esq. @lawyer_humor]

There is a disturbing trend of young lawyers trying to be concise.

A 2nd-year drafted an executive summary for a banking client using bullet points and plain English.

She proudly stated that she reduced a 50-page compliance memo into a 2-page brief.

I asked her if she thought the client was paying $950 an hour for brevity.

She muttered something about respecting the CEO's time.

I explained that clients don't pay us to solve their problems quickly.

They pay us to make their problems look so incomprehensible that only we can solve them.

I made her rewrite the summary using dense, impenetrable legalese.

It took her 12 hours to bury the conclusion on page 42.

The client called me the next morning to thank us for our incredibly thorough analysis.

Clarity is a customer service concept.

We are in the business of intellectual intimidation.

[bobo @BoboHominid]

You gotta be pounding balls, you HAVE to have a club in your hand as much as possible, dry swings at work, at the grocery store, you NEED to be visualizing that 20 footer disappearing over the lip of the cup, you 100% MUST hit 300 wedges in your backyard.

[Hockey 24|7 @iamhockey1]

BREAKING: Zach Werenski has requested a trade from the CBJ. He has submitted a 4 team trade list that includes the LA Dodgers, 17-18 GS Warriors, 2019 LSU Football and 22-23 Man City. This has nothing to do with his USA Hockey background. Per @FriedgeHNIC 🤣

[Apex Jones HACKED @ApexJonesHACKED]

This is greater than any NBA “fight” I ever seen aside from Malice at the Palace. Buddy that got beat up got physical but didn’t realize all the education buddy in the blue shirt possessed in his right hand. He asked for that asswhoopin.

[Dustin Grage @GrageDustin]

So let me get this straight… The world finally started paying attention to the fraud, then suddenly, Ilhan Omar’s household went from being valued at $30,000,000 to just $200?

Totally legit.

[Martian @LalimesMartian]

Brady Submitting a 4 team trade list of Carolina, Vegas, Minny and Florida tells you everything you need to know about the new NHL.

[Detroit Tigers @tigers]

dirt cams have feelings too

[Theodore @Leverup69]

@Wyndham_Clark Congratulations. You played very well this week. Enjoy.