The woman who allegedly went viral for stealing a Knicks-themed trash can reportedly made around $300K as JPMorgan’s Director of DEI after graduating community college with an art degree.
Think about that next time they hit you with another fee.
Would you bank with them?
🚨🚨🚨MICHIGAN🚨🚨🚨
This is not satire.
'We're spending $9 million this year to fund horse racing breeders to breed horses to race in Michigan, but we don't have any horse racing tracks'
at a job interview
"whats your biggest weakness?"
"understanding the semantics of a question but ignoring the pragmatics"
"could you give an me an example?"
"yes i could"
There is a disturbing trend of young lawyers trying to be concise.
A 2nd-year drafted an executive summary for a banking client using bullet points and plain English.
She proudly stated that she reduced a 50-page compliance memo into a 2-page brief.
I asked her if she thought the client was paying $950 an hour for brevity.
She muttered something about respecting the CEO's time.
I explained that clients don't pay us to solve their problems quickly.
They pay us to make their problems look so incomprehensible that only we can solve them.
I made her rewrite the summary using dense, impenetrable legalese.
It took her 12 hours to bury the conclusion on page 42.
The client called me the next morning to thank us for our incredibly thorough analysis.
Clarity is a customer service concept.
We are in the business of intellectual intimidation.
You gotta be pounding balls, you HAVE to have a club in your hand as much as possible, dry swings at work, at the grocery store, you NEED to be visualizing that 20 footer disappearing over the lip of the cup, you 100% MUST hit 300 wedges in your backyard.
BREAKING: Zach Werenski has requested a trade from the CBJ. He has submitted a 4 team trade list that includes the LA Dodgers, 17-18 GS Warriors, 2019 LSU Football and 22-23 Man City. This has nothing to do with his USA Hockey background. Per @FriedgeHNIC 🤣
This is greater than any NBA “fight” I ever seen aside from Malice at the Palace. Buddy that got beat up got physical but didn’t realize all the education buddy in the blue shirt possessed in his right hand. He asked for that asswhoopin.
So let me get this straight… The world finally started paying attention to the fraud, then suddenly, Ilhan Omar’s household went from being valued at $30,000,000 to just $200?
Totally legit.