Ally

i play the violin. avid lover of dogs, scotch, and the mets. keep it greasy.

[🍂 Autumn 🍂 @AutumnTweets]

CVS is telling me my dog is going to be treated as an independent legal adults under HIPAA when he turns 18.

[emily 🍎 @emilyinqueens]

you know what. i like it. we could use a little whimsy.

[matt bernstein @mattxiv]

deeply saddened by the passing of my colleague, Literal Hitler. while we disagreed on many things, he always knew how to make us laugh.

[Mac @GoodPoliticGuy]

Just got off the phone with Mitch McConnell, he told me aahhh shit it’s hot fuck there’s so much fire oh god reagans here too fuckkkk

[Jared Shult @jared_shult]

Yes because I’m not in a fucking cult

[Dylan Hornik @_Hornik_]

If we’re going down, you’re coming with us

[em @emilyagain]

NYC Sanitation has entered its cunty era

[Mayor Zohran Kwame Mamdani @NYCMayor]

Today marks 250 years since a small group of newspaper editors, farmers, and soldiers signed a document declaring our nation’s independence — a truth that feels self-evident now but was revolutionary then.

What a privilege us Americans have, to live in a nation that every one of its inhabitants can shape. What an honor us New Yorkers have, to look out over our city’s waters from the shores where so many Americans bravely entered their country for the first time.

Today and all days, let us remember that patriotism is not pretending our nation is without flaws. Patriotism is every act of righteous dissent — because loving our country means fighting for the best version of it.

Happy Fourth of July, New York City.

[Angry Staffer @Angry_Staffer]

Did you know the department of energy deleted almost 6000 web pages on energy saving, all because they matched the advice Mamdani was giving in NYC?

It’s the world’s dumbest cult.

[Zack Bornstein @ZackBornstein]

not to get political, but America is real pretty and has a lot of nice folks making cool things, and i think if we had a president who wasn’t actively trying to murder us, we could have a pretty good time

[Mayor Zohran Kwame Mamdani @NYCMayor]

Happy Fourth of July, New York City

[WeRateDogs @dog_rates]

We only rate dogs. This is a whirlpool. Please don't get too close. It is quite powerful. Still 13/10

[Governor Hochul Press Office @NYGovPress]

Crazy he has time to go a basketball game but not your wedding 😭

[Just Dave now @justdavenow89]

This dog is like fuck you I wont play by your rules

[Alyssa Rose @AlyssaRose]

Poor Donovan Mitchell has to go straight from getting getting swept in the Conference Finals to being a Mets fan

[April @aprilglick]

Ya gotta believe but ya don’t gotta watch

[Pope Leo XIV @Pontifex]

No nation, no society, and no international order can call itself just and humane if it measures its success solely by power or prosperity while neglecting those who live at the margins. Indeed, Christ’s love for the least and the forgotten compels us to reject every form of selfishness that leaves the poor and the vulnerable invisible.

[Simon Holland @simoncholland]

Had to say goodbye to our almost 14 year old weimaraner, Lucy, last night. Makes me think of this genius tweet from an old internet friend. Final dog tax below.

[Mayor Zohran Kwame Mamdani @NYCMayor]

I know a few teachers in Queens who would beg to differ.