gerkin/gurl

[femiiiiii. @femiiiszn]

not all of us were made to cook. some of us were made to have conversations with the person cooking.

[erika @yeeeerika]

the human spirit was not designed for this many passwords

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

“Crack the eggs in a separate bowl to avoid getting shell in the batter” sure, maybe for AMATEURS, but an egg-cracking expert like ME can do this shit no prob—Ah fuck

[kris @gaysororityhoe]

(no beers in) do you guys think anyone will ever love me

[🐳 @2001V01]

I have no idea how big a medium shirt should be anymore. Could mean anything

[Praise @tufpraise]

you just have to get stronger im sorry

[Ross Sayers @Sayers33]

Ah, well, the thing is, when I said we should "circle back to this in the new year", you have to understand that I genuinely thought this day would never come. I thought holiday forever

[ru @ruqaiyalore]

this entire year i was method acting. none of it was real. i was working on a bit.

[antipodean scourge @guywhoiswoke]

Wasted my entire Sunday. Maybe the last 32 years as well

[Sydney Battle @SydneyBattle]

do you think that santa, much like god, has abandoned us

[теа ⋆˙⟡ @cutesymoe]

i dont have a good relationship with men or women or food or money or myself

[horse dentist @equine__dentist]

these are all little animals to me

[Ernest Strawfield @FKAGEORGEY]

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle

[trish @ultragloss]

i can’t prove it but spotify wrapped is lying

[Andy @BoldCinema]

Tim Robinson in Friendship

[hope hopes hoping @hopes_revenge]

im on six different SSRIs and my favorite color is light grey

[fawn @fawnncel]

spotify wrapped be like yeah here’s the song you almost killed yourself to in february

[bort @tacobort]

No sorry next week won’t work I’ll be a shadow of what I once was

[victryena 💪📋 @victryena]

her spotify listening age was 19 you sick fuck

[g @34rths]

Dear diary I have to lock in tomorrow and fix Everything and do everything