Lizzie W.

YOU are the carbon they want to eliminate.

[Lizzie W. @LizzieWoot]

#WNBA thanks @grok

[Lizzie W. @LizzieWoot]

🤣

[Planet Of Memes @PlanetOfMemes]

For real.

[Dr. Clown, PhD @DrClownPhD]

Oh damn! 🤣

[Lizzie W. @LizzieWoot]

Yes.

[Lizzie W. @LizzieWoot]

Want 🐢🍕

[Candy 🍁🍂🎃🦇👻🥧 @sweetAFmaybe]

I don’t care how old I am. I WANT turtle pizzas.

[Lizzie W. @LizzieWoot]

‼️

[Juanita Broaddrick @atensnut]

Checkmate!!

[Lizzie W. @LizzieWoot]

So. Ready. 🤠

[Facts About Texas @FactsAboutTexas]

One cool breeze in Texas and suddenly everybody’s ready for chili. 🤠

[your other mom @difficultpatty]

Me: Want some trail mix?

Him: That’s just peanut butter m&m’s and some ibuprofen.

Me: It’s homemade.

[Lizzie W. @LizzieWoot]

Bread & Milk Scares ⚠️

[Tony Pann @TonyPannWBAL]

I will post this every year because it's still the funniest, and most 'spot on', winter forecast I have seen. 😁👇 From the mind of @wxbrad

[Lizzie W. @LizzieWoot]

Truth.

[Viral Cats @_ViralCats_]

7:00 PM is pushing it—make it 6:30 PM.

[U.S. Ministry of Truth @USMiniTru]

It's not illegal to sit outside of a sperm bank and tell people leaving "thanks for coming."

[Dr. Jebra Faushay @JebraFaushay]

Imagine looking outside and seeing a bear casually sitting there with her little foot up as if she's expecting a glass of wine and a charcuterie board?

[DK🇺🇸🦅🇺🇸 @1Nicdar]

She's not wrong. ⬇️

[Ryan Winchester @ryanwinchester]

EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY: Canadian Geese are now called DONALD DUCKS.

[Lizzie W. @LizzieWoot]

🤣

[Aaron Parnas @AaronParnas]

I totally envision Trump renaming the San Andreas Fault to Joe Biden’s Fault, and I am just putting this out there so I can say I predicted it one day.

[Larry the Cat @Number10cat]

Farewell, Dolly x

[Fenix Ammunition @FenixAmmunition]

If you're wondering how bad things can get just remember, it was already pretty fucking bad and you barely noticed.

[Lizzie W. @LizzieWoot]

Love this! 💕

[🤠 @heavensbvnny]

I just want you to remember. That we live in a world where octopuses dream, otters have a favorite shell that they carry with them all their lives, cows have best friends, and bees have different "dialects" of dance depending on the region. Cats purr at a frequency that accelerates bone healing, the forest grows flowers first after a fire, and dolphins give each other names and respond to them. Penguins make proposals by giving each other the most beautiful pebble