Mia Ryder

I'm 32 flavors & then some.

[Mia Ryder @LuckyAngel69]

You want me to spank? I'm always here . Clicks. https://t.co/oaRmIWMyqe

[Mia Ryder @LuckyAngel69]

You want me to undress? I look forward to communicating there. Come on. https://t.co/APo86QjzXQ

[Mia Ryder @LuckyAngel69]

At what number do you call it group sex? Foursome? Fivesome? Sixsome? Asking for a friend.

[Mia Ryder @LuckyAngel69]

When someone is complaining that they can't find anyone to hang with, & they haven't asked you. Yeah, that.

[Mia Ryder @LuckyAngel69]

@evrythingmustgo that kiss quote - Princess Bride? Right?

[Mia Ryder @LuckyAngel69]

Crying hangover headache. Don't want to be up. Too early. Talk like caveman.

[Mia Ryder @LuckyAngel69]

What I meant to say was I've had a shit day, and if you can't lighten up and be a fucking friend, then fuck you. That's all.

[Mia Ryder @LuckyAngel69]

Fuck men. And as much as I love sex, which is a lot, I do not mean literally. I deserve better. I've had a SHIt

[David Leibowitz @davio1962]

Safety pins are only safe part of the time. Open them up and you have HOLY JEEBUS REALLY DANGEROUS PINS

[Jason Sweeney @sween]

SCIENTISTS DISCOVER YOU LOSE AN HOUR OFF YOUR LIFESPAN FOR EVERY HOUR YOU SPEND DOING ANYTHING. BILLIONS FREAK THE GODDAMN HELL OUT.

[Mia Ryder @LuckyAngel69]

So cynical about love right now. I feel like too many people play too many games. WTF is wrong with being genuine & honest & having fun?

[Mia Ryder @LuckyAngel69]

Tis the season for finding high school boys' teams practicing shirtless & oogling them from my car.

Oh, right, like you don't do that.

[Mia Ryder @LuckyAngel69]

As fun as rough sex is, I love the next day reminders. Like the little sore spots & bruises.

[Mia Ryder @LuckyAngel69]

That moment when you finally get that you weren't ever what he really wanted.

That moment sucks.

[Mia Ryder @LuckyAngel69]

Insomnia sucks. Sometimes I just want someone to cuddle up to. Because then being awake is ok. Potentially even pretty fun.

[yppah! @yppahi]

Hey movies, that's not how we shower. Sincerely, women.

[Mia Ryder @LuckyAngel69]

It's too early to be this drunk & not have a friend-with-benefits available. Actually, not having a FWB is always a travesty, drunk or not.

[Mia Ryder @LuckyAngel69]

Seriously, though, this year was ridiculous and necessitated a hiatus. The shitstorm may last another few months, but I'm back anyway.

[Mia Ryder @LuckyAngel69]

Yes, I dropped off the map for an entire year. I was spending all my money & doing all the things I wanted before the Rapture in May.

[Mia Ryder @LuckyAngel69]

Can I just say that sometimes life isn't just a bitch, it's <insert name of someone really bitchy>.

I'll just say......whew. I made it.