osseous matter

Retweeter of Tweets, blogger at

[osseous matter @ManCaveSM]

@jasonpurcell_

[Ryans5648 @RyansX5648]

Why do we have 2 nostrils and not just one big one

[Top Animal Facts @topanimalfacts]

In Germany, prairie dogs are called prairie wurst.

[💥💣 Up and Adam 💣💥 @Millsy801]

I'm about a nut length away from asshole

[glamorous reptile @glamoureptile]

masturbating to classical music, call that ludwig van beet-off-en

[shamedoll @shamedoll]

Made a sandwich with my left hand so it felt like someone else was doing it

[Mal @TheRealPalMal]

I like to sit on my recliner and pretend I’m a chairman.

[Holdin @HoldinCoffeeld]

ignoring massive rectal bleeding because not a symptom of COVID

[BridgetJones @nevernicethings]

Times are tough. There isn’t even enough traffic on the streets for me to walk into.

[Daveastated @Daveastated]

The lengths people will go to run a marathon.

[Stap the Mattness @Stap_Jr]

Flaming hot Doritos are just crispy laxatives.

[bobby wasabi @bobbyteriyaki]

can’t wait til they legalize outside

[Stap the Mattness @Stap_Jr]

Putting my quarantine report card on the fridge.

Sleeping B+
Drinking A+
Eating A
Hygiene C-

[Lovely Potatoes @robin_991]

My new favourite part of every morning is re-sleep

[Ryans5648 @RyansX5648]

Me: I think I’ll start working out today

Also me: I got off the couch that’s enough exercise for the day

[Christy @CheeseDaydreams]

I talk a big game about having enough toilet paper, but in reality I've always been a bit curious about adult diapers

[Dave @pittdave13]

It’s like my grandma used to say, Cotton is the fabric of our britches and syrup glues pancakes together