The Blonde One

I’m a wooden spoon, flashlight holding, dodgeball playing, garden hose drinking, Aqua Net spraying survivor.

[The Blonde One @MichelleDBlonde]

I expect more out of my concealer than I do most people in my life.

[The Blonde One @MichelleDBlonde]

Being an adult is accepting you can only go hard for about an hour then you gotta put it all in Advil’s hands.

[JW 2.0 @yupthatfknguy]

A lot of blocking and unfollowing right now. He was a husband and a father to two young children and you are celebrating his death because of his political opinions. I have no use for a single one of you. Fuck off.

[Allie Beth Stuckey @conservmillen]

There’s so much ugliness online right now. People cheering on Charlie’s murder. I won’t highlight them. Instead I’ll just remind you of this: Charlie wouldn’t care one bit about what those people think. He was extremely aware of the existence of evil and of spiritual warfare. Demons are rejoicing. Satan’s glad he took an effective soldier out of the fight, and everyone who follows Satan feels the same. 

What an incredible honor. May we all, when we die, make the demons rejoice. May we all be so courageous, so bold, so effective, so faithful, so obedient to the Lord, so relentless in the pursuit of His glory that when we die all of God’s enemies cheer. May they lament every breath we take, may they be enraged by every morning that our feet hit the floor, may they wince at every word we say. 

We don’t wrestle against flesh and blood, my friends.

I am already seeing God use this moment to unite people and bring them to truth. If the enemy’s goal was to scare us into silence, he’s failed spectacularly. This is what happens when you make a martyr: you embolden everyone who believes like they do. Charlie and the truth he represented will spread further and wider than it ever has before.

To the people who did this, to the people who support this,  you have changed the country forever. If your goal was to immortalize Charlie’s ideas, and to raise people even bolder and more relentless than him, good job. That’s exactly what you’ve done.

[JohnRocker @itsJohnRocker]

All Charlie Kirk did was have a respectful open dialogue with people he disagreed with....

Absolutely sickening.

[JW @ohthatfknguy]

I drank a Celsius instead of a Monster, this is a fitness account now.

[Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP]

All I’m saying is, of all the breaths, garlic breath isn’t that bad.

[The Blonde One @MichelleDBlonde]

Making plans as an adult, “well let’s wait and see what the weather is going to be” and then never bring it up again.

[Tony P. @Tbone7219]

Held up a cheap Bic Lighter at a rock concert years old.

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

It is morning in America again

[The Blonde One @MichelleDBlonde]

Someone of you out here judging others, sipping water from your refrigerator you haven’t changed the filter on for years.

[The Blonde One @MichelleDBlonde]

@steveffootball No shoes. No shirt. Service!

[The Blonde One @MichelleDBlonde]

Ready for some @OnPatrolLive Nothing better on Friday’s! #oplive shots for “I only had two”

[The Blonde One @MichelleDBlonde]

@OnPatrolLive I have my line-up ready for some action. #OPL100

[The Blonde One @MichelleDBlonde]

I wouldn’t do anything for a Klondike bar, but @mattrife tickets?! Hear me out…..

[The Blonde One @MichelleDBlonde]

I don’t know who needs to heat this, but stop shaking your salad so aggressively. No one gives a shit about “new year, new you”.

[Jan·da·līze ☆ @Jandalize]

It's surprising how well this house plant listens to all my troubles.

[The Real Rodney Lacroix @RealRodLacroix]

Them: I can't believe you like winter more than spring.

Me [killing spiders, flies and wasps in my house since 4 AM because that’s when the birds woke me up]: Yeah it’s crazy.

[The Blonde One @MichelleDBlonde]

@StillRadNotaFad Cinnamon gummy bears unless I’m in the mood to get to the center of a tootsie pop.

[The Blonde One @MichelleDBlonde]

@Toure Fuck or applesauce depending on the time of day.