Mike Reid

SP❤️

[Fred Delicious 🍆 @Fred_Delicious]

"sir, can i ask why you're smoking TWO huge blunts?"
"officer, I'm..."
*turns to camera*
"double jointed"
*cop starts breakdancing*

[Mike Reid @Mike_Reid1]

@JacobMyren happy birthday man! hope its a good one man

[demi adejuyigbe @electrolemon]

i thought it was weird my parents had 2 DVDs of WHAT WOMEN WANT, then i found a 3rd in their copy of THE GREEN MILE

[Meninist @MeninistTweet]

lmaooo accurate

[Enrique Shockwave @UNDEADTRESOR]

Trump wants to ban Muslims but if we learned anything from Prohibition it's that people will just make Muslims in their bathtubs.

[ally 𝖌𝖆𝖙𝖔𝖗 🐊🧑‍🍳🐕🏳️‍🌈 @notacroc]

WIFE: get down here!
ME: *from telephone wire* I'm with my friends
WIFE: why are u wearing fake wings?
ME: *to bird next to me* they're real

[Dr. Bucky Isotope, PhD Bioplasticity @BuckyIsotope]

“Who let the dogs out” they ask. “No idea” I say. They let me go. As I walk away from the police station my limp slowly disappears.

[regular keith @ghostkrogh]

son: there's a monster under my bed
me: that's mark he lives there now
son: wha
me: times r tough we need the cash
mark: i'm trying to sleep

[tara shoe @tarashoe]

i don't really believe in god but i'm like aware of his influence and respect him as an artist or whatever the hell

[wint @dril]

its fucked up how there are like 1000 christmas songs but only 1 song aboutr the boys being back in town

[Mike Reid @Mike_Reid1]

@xSabrinaPereira yea it does look pretty good

[Mike Reid @Mike_Reid1]

@xSabrinaPereira looks decent!

[Meninist @MeninistTweet]

feminists be like

[Mike Reid @Mike_Reid1]

https://t.co/g38iHKNWyF

[Meninist @MeninistTweet]

that's pretty much how it goes

[Mike Reid @Mike_Reid1]

https://t.co/uwhuhCzYNm