The Bitter Pastor

I love the church - it's you Christians that make me bitter!

[The Bitter Pastor @PastorBitter]

Them: You didn’t come see me in the hospital.

Me: I didn’t know you were IN the hospital!

Them: I felt self-conscious and didn’t want to tell anyone.

😠

[The Bitter Pastor @PastorBitter]

Happy Easter, ya filthy animals. 😠

#HeIsRisen

[The Bitter Pastor @PastorBitter]

...she said, tweeting a tweet.

[Small Church Problems @smallchurchprob]

You know what now is NOT the time for, church folks? Pointing out tech errors in your pastor’s videos as they tirelessly work, without a day off, on something they have absolutely no training in.

[Chet Churchpain @Churchpain]

Finally, I can go to church in my underwear and nobody cares.

[The Bitter Pastor @PastorBitter]

Been gone ‘cause it’s been a crazy 6 weeks for me. Did I miss anything?

[The Bitter Pastor @PastorBitter]

@ParsonPeeves

[The Bitter Pastor @PastorBitter]

In order to prevent your family from thinking you’re psycho, make sure they know you ordered ashes FOR 100 people and not ashes OF 100 people.

😬

#TrueStory

[The Bitter Pastor @PastorBitter]

My favorite part after preaching is hearing people say how meaningful points I didn’t actually make were to them.

😠

[The Bitter Pastor @PastorBitter]

No, Jesus is not your Valentine. He's the Savior of the world.

😠

[The Bitter Pastor @PastorBitter]

It’s a gradually building phenomenon, and tomorrow is the Sunday we finally sing ONLY Christmas songs in worship.

😠

[The Bitter Pastor @PastorBitter]

@RecentPastor

[The Bitter Pastor @PastorBitter]

@EllerySamwise Ha!

[The Bitter Pastor @PastorBitter]

Worship guy led Silent Night to close the service, once again reinforcing the idea that Jesus is looking down on us from the sky.

😠

[The Bitter Pastor @PastorBitter]

@rainsfamilia Oh, that’s a personal fave.

[The Bitter Pastor @PastorBitter]

Okay, saints, what are some of your LEAST favorite Christmas songs you hear in church?

😠

[The Bitter Pastor @PastorBitter]

@grumpybaldguy_

[The Bitter Pastor @PastorBitter]

@revellie1118 @PastorPastTime Fair enough

[The Bitter Pastor @PastorBitter]

@thenotthebible But there’s no crib for a bed!

[The Bitter Pastor @PastorBitter]

@grumpybaldguy_ Um, have you had that happen? 😳

[The Bitter Pastor @PastorBitter]

@MarionRavenw00d @SteveSebring https://t.co/eFlIPzM66D

[The Bitter Pastor @PastorBitter]

@AwsumPreacher