Ruben Bijman

Psychologist pursuing Self-Mastery.

The act of doing what you said you’d do—especially when you don’t feel like it.

I share what I learn to help others.

[Ruben Bijman @RDBijman]

𝗦𝗲𝗹𝗳-𝗺𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗶𝘀 𝗮 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝘀𝗸𝗶𝗹𝗹.

The art of doing what you said you’d do—especially when you don’t feel like it.

As a psychologist, I’ve been obsessed with this for years.

Here are 5 brutally honest insights that help me master myself daily 🧵

[Ruben Bijman @RDBijman]

“Just be more disciplined”

is one of those pieces of advice that sounds right
but explains nothing.

I have been struggling with this and wrote down my thoughts: https://t.co/R0oh9eZsL8

[Ruben Bijman @RDBijman]

@ZubyMusic I get your point, we should not compare them to childeren but their brains are not developed either.

20 year olds resemble kids in many ways.

[Ruben Bijman @RDBijman]

Have you ever tried exercising willpower while having a hangover?

It doesn’t work.

And yet you want to force yourself to take action while treating your body like shit.

It doesn’t have energy for your to do list

[Ruben Bijman @RDBijman]

The Greeks had a word for acting against yourself: akrasia.

Knowing what’s right and not doing it.

What’s interesting is how they thought you actually fix it.

Put my thoughts down here if you’re curious.

https://t.co/4jph1XLmtX

[Ruben Bijman @RDBijman]

Self-mastery is trained by refusing to obey yourself until the part of you worth obeying becomes dominant.

Put yourself in situations where desire conflicts with reason, act according to reason anyway and repeat until your character changes.

This is the key skill to train first

[Ruben Bijman @RDBijman]

I can want something, know how to get it…
and still not act.

That shouldn’t be possible.

So what’s actually happening?

Let's think it through together:

https://t.co/QdUzsf8hsv

[Ruben Bijman @RDBijman]

I know exactly what to do. So why am I not doing it?

My latest substack article on self-sabotage can be found below.

An exploration of the gap between knowing and doing.

I am experimenting with dialectical writing where I show my thought process.

https://t.co/haB3KcUKFQ

[Ruben Bijman @RDBijman]

You know what to do? So why aren't you doing it?

Read here my latest ramblings on the fascinating topic of self-sabotage. More posts are coming!

https://t.co/7OvuJcGr90

[Ruben Bijman @RDBijman]

Telling people to “push through,” “toughen up,” or “just have more willpower” doesn’t work.

Sure — it works for maybe 5%.

Calling the other 95% “weak” is just arrogance.

If 95% can’t use your advice, the problem isn’t them.
It’s the advice.

[Ruben Bijman @RDBijman]

@SahilBloom If you are not following-through you are sabotaging yourself. You know what actions to take and why, but there is an internal resistance.

Working with that internal resistance is called self-mastery, it is a trainable skill.

An obsession of mine, I tweet about it a lot.

[Ruben Bijman @RDBijman]

@orangebook Learn to stop sabotaging yourself.

Self-maatery is the way.

[Ruben Bijman @RDBijman]

Being able to take action despite internal resistance is a learnable skill and key to any achievement.

I call it Self-Mastery.

[Ruben Bijman @RDBijman]

Self-mastery is system-level cooperation between consciousness and biology.

Trying to work with impulses? It’s not just willpower, but also maintaining health, managing cues in your environment, and breaking and building habits.

You need all of them. They support each other.

[Ruben Bijman @RDBijman]

@CoachDanGo I don't need a watch to tell me I have slept well.

If I go to bed in time and wake up naturally, I know I have succeeded.

[Ruben Bijman @RDBijman]

@thedankoe Can you recognize the difference between unconcious and concious thought?

Between the bullshit your mind generates and what you actually think when you put in the effort?

You are not your unconcious thoughts.

[Ruben Bijman @RDBijman]

@Kpaxs Agreed! When health is in an excellent state, willpower becomes easier (or atleast less hard).

This enables you to do the things you care about.

Get your health in order and self-mastery becomes natural.

[Ruben Bijman @RDBijman]

Everyone agrees that intelligence gave humans their evolutionary edge, but that’s not the whole story.

What truly sets us apart is the ability to consciously override primal urges, to act despite fear.

That capacity, is what makes us dominate the rest of the animal kingdom,

[Ruben Bijman @RDBijman]

Self-sabotage is a universal human experience.

Across cultures and throughout history, people have struggled with it. It’s part of what makes us human. So don’t waste energy blaming yourself, instead, decide to learn how to overcome it.

[Ruben Bijman @RDBijman]

Be honest with yourself.

When you sabotage yourself, do you act automatically
or can you look back and observe the resistance without becoming it?

Can you say “I’m experiencing anger” instead of lashing out?

Act from the observing place, not the emotion.

[Ruben Bijman @RDBijman]

Discipline doesn’t exist.

It’s a word people use when they don’t understand why deliberate action shows up sometimes and vanishes when things get hard.

Ask a better question: How can I work with my self-sabotage?

Do that often enough, and people will call you disciplined.