Syr Sarah

Ornithophiliac

[CAPYBARA MAN @CAPYBARA_MAN]

friend to all

[Stephen Diehl @smdiehl]

Evergreen tweet.

[Daniel Spenser @DanSpenser]

Vet: "Your cat is... chonky."
Me: 😭
Vet: "A real bonkus chonkus, just a... {looks at chart} a real chonkster."
Me: 😭
Vet: "I have heard of bok choy, but what we have got here is some sort of chonk boy."
Me: 😭😭

[Syr Sarah @RelativeDistanc]

@Courageousodin Fuck dude you lost all your color

[Julicorn @ChicksRule]

Boy that escalated quickly

[Left Flank Veterans @LeftFlankVets]

United States got weapons to Ukraine faster than Covid tests to its citizens

[Cody Johnston @drmistercody]

When bridges don't have what.

[The Magnificast @TheMagnificast]

when they're right, they're right.

[Luke Mones @LukeMones]

Oh my god

[a @aallleeexxxxxx1]

me when the doordash person knocks instead of just leaving the food there

[Luigi @Antrodemus]

I have not properly Coproliteposted in a while, time to fix that.

[Stephen Totilo @stephentotilo]

Two cops were fired from the LAPD after they failed to respond to the report of a robbery and drove off to hunt a Snorlax in Pokemon Go.

They appealed (said it wasn't okay for squad car recording of them to be used against them). They lost.

From our newsletter today:

[Rhiannon @AywaRhiannon]

One of the most offensive things is that you’re never really done with laundry

[dahyun the barbie @dahyunscalp]

gretas evil twin

[merritt k (not really here anymore) @merrittk]

If Gandalf didn’t want Frodo to put on the ring he shouldn’t have called it “quite cool” when he gave it to him