how to spiritually detach from other people’s opinions and become deeply rooted in who you are:
- stop treating every perception of you as information you need to internalize. people can only meet you through the depth of their own experiences, wounds and understanding.
- let yourself be misunderstood without immediately reaching for an explanation. sometimes protecting your peace means allowing someone to keep a version of you that you know isn’t true.
- notice what happens in your body when someone dislikes you. breathe through the urge to prove, defend or perform. teach your nervous system that disapproval is not danger.
- spend enough time alone to hear your own voice clearly. silence removes the noise of who everyone else thinks you should be and brings you back to what actually feels true.
- stop shape-shifting to preserve connection. every time you betray your own needs to remain lovable, you teach your subconscious that belonging requires self-abandonment.
- build evidence of your own character privately. keep promises to yourself. act with integrity when nobody is watching. self-trust becomes much harder to shake when you know how you live.
- accept that there will always be contradictory versions of you existing in other people’s minds. you were never meant to control all of them.
- return to yourself over and over again. your deepest sense of identity should come from the life you experience within, not the reflection of yourself you find in other people.
Yüksek zekanın en net işaretlerinden birii, kaosa kapalı olmaktır; başkalarını etkilemeye ya da onaylarını kazanmamaya zerre ilgi duymamak, bırakmak sanatını ustalıkla icra etmek ve insanların senin hakkında saçmalamasına izin vermek
“Don't seek, don't search, don't ask, don't knock, don't demand, ... relax. If you relax, it comes. If you relax, it is there. If you relax, you start vibrating with it.”
- Osho
what doesn't kill you introduces you to carl jung, marcus aurelius, epictetus, friedrich nietzsche, james baldwin, bell hooks, audre lorde, frantz fanon, paulo freire, joseph campbell, alan watts, ram dass, gary zukav, brene brown, gabor mate, shadow work, attachment theory, nervous-system regulation, ancestral trauma, existentialism, stoicism, meditation, emotional intelligence, neuroplasticity, metacognition, pattern recognition, game theory, delusional optimism, boundaries and discernment.
Intelligent people struggle with addiction. Their minds need more. More depth. More to disappear into. They have obsessions nobody around them shares. Philosophy. Literature. Astronomy. Documentaries. Quantum physics. Dostoevsky. Kant. Books, music, films, ideas they've gone so deep into that ordinary conversation starts to feel like small talk. And small talk feels like suffocation. So... they drink. Work until 2 am. Doomscroll until they feel nothing. Because there is a gap between who you are and the conversations available to you. And sometimes, that gap becomes unbearable. And it's one of the loneliest places a person can live.
como disse clarice lispector: “que minha solidão me sirva de companhia. que eu tenha coragem de me enfrentar. que eu saiba ficar com o nada e, mesmo assim, me sentir como se estivesse plena de tudo.”
Hoy leí una frase que decía: “Y de pronto llegará alguien que baile contigo aunque no le guste bailar, simplemente porque es contigo y eso le basta”. Y pensé que, al final, eso es lo que quiero: alguien que disfrute hacer las cosas conmigo, incluso aquellas que no haría con nadie más.
Let it end. Let it slip gently from your hands. If it’s truly meant for you, it will find its way back to you. Choose peace over control. Give yourself permission to breathe a little easier without it. Stop trying to force an outcome you were never meant to control. What’s meant for you won’t require you to destroy your peace to keep it. Everything will be okay.
-gyms exist
-Coke Zero exists
-hot girls outnumber put-together dudes 2000 to 1
-you and your wife can get drunk at a dimly-lit steakhouse then smash all night without a condom
-you and your friends can hit the gym then smoke a joint at a Coldplay concert
There are people who live in wheelchairs. There are kids born with disabilities. No Prom, no Shoulder Presses, no sleepovers with their best friends staying up til 2AM watching Interstellar.
And you’re not SMASHING the gym like a GRATEFUL SAVAGE!? Eating healthy 90% of the time, calling your friends for no reason, CRUSHING it in your career, ASKING for the raise!? Asking out your crush making her your girlfriend then your wife!?
You’re spinning on a sphere in an infinite universe and the fact you’re alive is a 1 in 500 trillion miracle - you’re so lucky it’s absurd and you have nothing to lose :)
One of the greatest cheat codes in life is to never get offended. Train yourself to have thick skin. Don't take things personally. Let others disagree with you. Being easily offended means you're easily manipulated. If you value peace of mind, avoid getting offended.