Sam Morris

musician and horror author

[Cranky Federalist @CrankyFed]

Your pub's flag isn't on the moon

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

USA. A Mexican restaurant. We had not yet ordered anything, and the food was already arriving.

Chips. Salsa. Unrequested. Free.

I stopped the waiter. "We have not earned these."

"They just come with the table, man."

They come with the TABLE. In my land, hospitality is a debt. Every gift creates an obligation, weighed carefully, returned in the proper season with interest of feeling. Here, the gift arrives before you have even proven you can pay for dinner.

This is not an appetizer. This is a declaration: we trust you. Eat.

I ate with the gravity the moment deserved. And then — I must report this calmly — the basket emptied, and a new one appeared.

"Did we…?"

"Refill," the waiter said. "It's bottomless."

Bottomless. They have wells of salsa. The supply lines of this nation are beyond anything my ancestors imagined.

My friend warned me. "Don't fill up on chips, dude."

Too late. I had accepted three baskets. Honor demanded each one be finished — an unfinished gift is an insult. By the time my actual food arrived, I was a ruined man.

I was not hungry. I was not comfortable. I had been defeated by a courtesy.

Generosity that arrives before the request cannot be repaid. It can only be survived.

I know the rule now. I have made my peace with the basket. One basket. Two at the most.

Who am I deceiving. There is no number of baskets I would refuse. The trust of a nation is in that salsa, and I intend to honor all of it.

[brian @brianonhere]

Knicks overcorrecting by inviting Hilary Clinton to Game 4 and somehow losing the entire series in one game

[Sam Morris @SamBamMorris]

@Polymarket Aww not enough clicks for hantavirus 😢😭😂

[nishadi ⚢ @p1nkch4n]

everyone was talking about their heights and this dude who was shorter than me said he was 6 feet tall and when it came around to me and i was about to say my height he looked at me like this

[Bob Golen @BobGolen]

I’ve only got two, maybe three good Motown puns left in me. Four Tops.

[Sam Morris @SamBamMorris]

@BatsysWorld

[Sam Morris @SamBamMorris]

@sinist3rgore You should read this one 👀

[Sam Morris @SamBamMorris]

@BuckReising @lucaspanzica @Robby_Walsh Saleh-darity 😮‍💨

[Sam Morris @SamBamMorris]

@HeidiStevens13 The only two insurance claims I’ve ever filed have been from getting hit in traders joes parking lots lol

[Meesh Hell @waziot]

This sandwich looks pretty Lunchian

[Errai @errai]

Clown school bully shoving 14 kids in a locker

[Chris Oldman © @AlsikkanTV]

happy oct 1st to this guy