Krystal Cappacelli

Slave at the Blank Page.
Writer. Comic. Plethora of skills.
My pillows are never quite right.
Your therapist told me about that dream you had until you were 20.

[Krystal Cappacelli @SisCappacelli]

Tis my only wish that I may get remotely famous enough to feel the need to have Twitter verify my name.

[Krystal Cappacelli @SisCappacelli]

I'm raising money for No insurance, lump needs biopsy.. Click to Donate: https://t.co/ty31QNK1H1 via @gofundme

[Krystal Cappacelli @SisCappacelli]

He's as irrelevant as a Spinal Tap drummer.

[Krystal Cappacelli @SisCappacelli]

Biggie doesn't get enough credit for Nasty Girl growing into a Nasty Woman.

[Krystal Cappacelli @SisCappacelli]

I'm baaaack.

[Krystal Cappacelli @SisCappacelli]

#AllSaintsDay #RejectedSaints

[Krystal Cappacelli @SisCappacelli]

@ronniimartinez I pretty much live in that space as well.

[Elon Musk's Vestigial Twin @VestigialElon]

#RejectedSaints Saint Sweary the Fucking Best Saint Ever Bitch

[Krystal Cappacelli @SisCappacelli]

@KJorud In no world should this be rejected. Haha ♡ it

[John Cusack @johncusack]

Cubs win https://t.co/w3xWpOLLmX

[Krystal Cappacelli @SisCappacelli]

No Country for Old Men in Tights
#MixUpAndRuinTwoFilms

[Mike Nguyen Le @WriterLe]

As answering machines became obsolete, so did the trope of the lonely character who checks the machine to find zero messages.

[Krystal Cappacelli @SisCappacelli]

Dirty Harry Potter
#MixUpAndRuinTwoFilms

[Krystal Cappacelli @SisCappacelli]

Meet Joe Dirt
#MixUpAndRuinTwoFilms

[Krystal Cappacelli @SisCappacelli]

Clash of the Titanic
#MixUpAndRuinTwoFilms

[Gareth McL @GMLmusic]

Cloudy With a Chance of Spaceballs #MixUpAndRuinTwoFilms

[Krystal Cappacelli @SisCappacelli]

Hey man, you got any mo of that bomb ass insulin?

#SeniorPickUpLines

[Krystal Cappacelli @SisCappacelli]

@EmileHirsch Perfect, hahaaa

[S𝔥𝔢𝔞 B𝔯𝔬𝔴𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤 @SheaBrowning]

"You can't spell 'Metamucil' without ME and U..." #SeniorPickUpLines

[Krystal Cappacelli @SisCappacelli]

Chexmix and chill
#SeniorPickUpLines