Ed Newman

Well oiled, economical, carbon neutral love-machine… Available for party hire or home installation.

[Ed Newman @SlideEd]

Just chased out of the casino by an angry hen's party... Lost my mates and one of my shoes fell in a fountain. Schoolies rules!

[Ed Newman @SlideEd]

@SlideEva should be warned that I plan on creating an even more fucked up image for your head this time round... Schoolies = loose!!!!!

[Ed Newman @SlideEd]

@SlideLuke knows me too well! That's exactly what I would write! Hamlet's bitches be crazy!

[Ed Newman @SlideEd]

I just found out that @SlideLuke stole my identity... I owe you bro!

[Ed Newman @SlideEd]

The boy becomes a man, kind of... http://t.co/BBMToetM

[Ed Newman @SlideEd]

Hamlet's a pussy! I'd throw down with that whiney Danish prick! Alas poor Eduardo, I knew him Horatio... Argh! Help! Where's my U-Schtoober?

[Ed Newman @SlideEd]

On your marks, get set, go! http://t.co/EwUE0BUs

[Ed Newman @SlideEd]

@SlideScarlett makes a compelling argument. I am considering changing my stage name to “Eddie The Cunning Linguist.”

[Ed Newman @SlideEd]

Considering a new addition to MC Square’s set. Wondering how a cover of Gillette’s “Short Dick Man” would go down? http://t.co/62wo5E2J

[Ed Newman @SlideEd]

@SlideTammy I was a dick. But remember what Beyonce said 2 Jay Z: "I'll be there for you if somebody hurts you, even if that somebody's me."

[Ed Newman @SlideEd]

Um, what's a carburettor?

[Ed Newman @SlideEd]

About to buy my first car! Ladies of Brisbane, Don Eduardo is now even more pimpin'!

[Ed Newman @SlideEd]

Little bit gangsta or little bit wanksta? http://t.co/85g9Hv6z

[Ed Newman @SlideEd]

@SlideTammy you're such a nerd! Even when you're avoiding study you still somehow manage to reference the play we're studying.

[Ed Newman @SlideEd]

I've got photos to prove Little Ed's heavyweight status. @SlideLuke you should stop trash talking and get in the ring motherf@#ker!

[Ed Newman @SlideEd]

My swollen member has deflated and is back to fighting weight. Ladies, I just need a shot at the title, or even some light sparring?

[Ed Newman @SlideEd]

Sorry @SlideLuke, you'll have to try way harder than that. Trust me, she's a stubborn girl.

[Ed Newman @SlideEd]

Ow, it's getting all rashy down there! http://t.co/840lUklj

[Ed Newman @SlideEd]

@SlideTammy you have my attention. There are girls minus panties loose in the Valley? Where r u?!

[Ed Newman @SlideEd]

Incest in the group = danger! http://t.co/L5dlwaKJ