Thomas Cavazos

Hi. I'm a writer. I make bad jokes, rant about unimportant things, and harass public figures.

[Thomas Cavazos @T_Cavazos]

@JDVance You’re tweeting again? I thought everyone else in the administration agreed you couldn’t handle the responsibility until you were older.

[Shane @sbliss89]

New level of Catholic guilt unlocked: the pope wants to know why you haven’t finished that draft yet.

[Thomas Cavazos @T_Cavazos]

@Pontifex On it!

[Kristi Yamaguccimane @TheWapplehouse]

He’s offended because The Odyssey is about something near and dear to him: being an absent father while chasing vanity for 20 years

[Thomas Cavazos @T_Cavazos]

@Noahpinion This ain’t the future. There was a guy at Folsom
Street Fair at least as far back as 20 years ago who was doing stuff with saline that would make the sun shine black with horror.

[Thomas Cavazos @T_Cavazos]

@TerribleMaps Strait of Moremuz.

[Doc Coyle @DocCoyle]

Me on my way to Tool at the Sphere.

[Mike Drucker @MikeDrucker]

rough day for trad cath adult converts who just wanted real life Dark Souls lore rather than any responsibility to do good in the world

[Thomas Cavazos @T_Cavazos]

I picked up a Blight Curse precon, and the print quality is terrible. Some cards have blurry art, most cards have blurry copyright text, and mana and tap symbols are misaligned in ways I haven't seen since Alpha/Beta. Anyone else noticing this? #Lorwyneclipsed #MagicTheGathering

[Thomas Cavazos @T_Cavazos]

Cool. I think that's the first time my staying up unreasonably late meant I got to see the head of a foreign government deposed in real-time. Cool. Cool, cool, cool. Good stuff. Christ almighty.

[Thomas Cavazos @T_Cavazos]

@ZsomborLevay @drmistercody @GuntherEagleman “Mr. Kojima, I think you need to take another pass at this.”

[Thomas Cavazos @T_Cavazos]

@mehdirhasan Pretty cool that she was still wearing her Beetlejuice costume when they interviewed her, though.

[Thomas Cavazos @T_Cavazos]

Get you a man that reply guys you the way Thiago reply guys the Pope.

[Thiago ✱ @thiagovscoelho]

@Pontifex banger post your holiness

[Thomas Cavazos @T_Cavazos]

@HashionDiscord Or it’s a wolf and after a couple dozen millennia, humanity forgot both what wolves were and that they’d introduced them to Fenris.

[Thomas Cavazos @T_Cavazos]

@HashionDiscord Some kind of weird Tyranid that gets avoided by the Hivefleets like Ymgarl Genestealers, probably. Or a Kroot evolutionary deadend that was too small to ride and not beaky enough to tolerate aesthetically.

[Thomas Cavazos @T_Cavazos]

@Noahpinion I mean, given that quote and the photo, it sure sounds like Vance believes Usha’s extended family should deport him.

[Thomas Cavazos @T_Cavazos]

@mattyglesias @bscholl Ooh, ooh, I’ve got one. Tetraethyllead gasoline.

[Thomas Cavazos @T_Cavazos]

The choice to end every episode with whatever 90s earworm Noah Hawley had stuck in his head that day remains baffling, however.

[Thomas Cavazos @T_Cavazos]

Catching up on Alien Earth, and the eyeball monster is my new favorite character in anything. Face-to-face* with the xenomorph in Ep. 5, and it makes the tactical decision, "I'm going to jump on that fucker and BITE it." Sublime.