Jon S.

They/Them.
Mainer in the godless south (New Hampshire). Trying to find levity in the face of *gestures broadly*. Very strong feelings about lighthouses.

[Jon S. @TheJonStaples]

I think I'm going to pin this because it seems to be an evergreen take.

[Jon S. @TheJonStaples]

I'm now firmly convinced that he's killing the site on purpose because he's still mad they wouldn't let him back out of the sale.

[Jon S. @TheJonStaples]

@OSECForMVS Okay, but idea: they do that. The trailers are all about how this is a new beginning for She-Hulk, but they pull an Agatha All Along and all the trailer clips are from the first episode, which finishes with old Jenn suing the studio for defamation.

[Jon S. @TheJonStaples]

I super love that my passport with my X gender identifier *should* be valid until the expiration date, but in reality that probably hinges on how much of a dick some TSA rando feels like being on any given day.

[Jon S. @TheJonStaples]

It's already too late if you hear them. You have to attune your inner ear to the pressure change when one of your house's exterior doors opens or closes.

[❥ hazel ︻デ═一 @BluebriarArts]

Relying on a spoon mirror is creative, but a weak model. As a former professional parent-fearer, you need to hear them long before you can see them

[Jon S. @TheJonStaples]

Update: this time it was sesame oil and garlic.

[Jon S. @TheJonStaples]

Wife: Oh my god that already smells so good🤤
Me: It's literally just butter and an onion.
-An exchange that takes place in our house at least weekly

[Jon S. @TheJonStaples]

This guy's gonna lose his fucking mind when he learns about potatoes.

[Jon S. @TheJonStaples]

What do you mean their last name isn't Doobie?

WHAT do you MEAN they aren't even really brothers???

[Jon S. @TheJonStaples]

Scientists tried to build a machine delicate enough to measure the amount of fucks I have to give today, but a butterfly farted on it and it broke.

[Jon S. @TheJonStaples]

@itssamanthaaaa_ Not my cat, but one of my coworkers'. This was her first day after adopting him and she couldn't bear to be away from him all day.

[Jon S. @TheJonStaples]

I'm not exaggerating when I say that I think my strongest most closly held opinion is that Pacific Punch is the best flavor of Monster because it tastes exactly like the fruit punch at the Arby's on Main Street in Waterville Maine in 1992.

[Jon S. @TheJonStaples]

@zahoneycomb_ Sue and MJ meet up for brunch once a month and the stories they swap are INSANELY filthy.

[Jon S. @TheJonStaples]

@RubyZarkGuy You're welcome!

[Jon S. @TheJonStaples]

@beauwatson @arakkosuperstar (In his own mind. Nobody else noticed.)
Scott: /My god, who do I think I am? All the things I've done? All the people I've failed? And now I betray Cornelius for this delicious tiger WHORE?/
Remy: /Mmm, beignets.../

[Jon S. @TheJonStaples]

Guess what?
Nabbit's back.

[𝐸𝒹𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃 (Veronikasizzle) @Veronikasizzle]

?????????????????????????????

[Jon S. @TheJonStaples]

@QuestInterest @comfortsgwen If you want more Gwenpool after the first run even though you know her depiction will be different you understood the entire point of the narrative of the first run perfectly.

[Jon S. @TheJonStaples]

Wife: Oh my god that already smells so good🤤
Me: It's literally just butter and an onion.
-An exchange that takes place in our house at least weekly

[sarah 🦊 @_look_its_sarah]

pro tip: marry a girl who's family cant cook then put salt and garlic in everything you make and she'll love you forever

[Jon S. @TheJonStaples]

@ThiccStauskas I just realized, so much of that viewpoint is dependent on "Every question must have a single correct easily understood answer, which is morally good and correct, and happens to align with my own morality, " which seems simultaneously super lazy and like so much work.

[Jon S. @TheJonStaples]

@Gabewinner1 @GailSimone Next you'll try to tell us that isn't even Bruce Banner.

[Jon S. @TheJonStaples]

@about4otters Aye aye, puppy!

[eloise @soupforeloise]

🚨DO NOT SPEND YOUR LIFE SAVINGS ON THESE 🚨

.......chocolate.......theyre all chocolate.... im so stupid STUPID..... my wife is gonna leave me....