jacob parker

👺

[jacob parker @TheMightyJaboc]

Twitter depresses me because everybodys desperately trying to attain this kinda comedy god tier status that only .00001% of users get. Like shut up and accept your dreams won’t come true like me hahahaha

[jacob parker @TheMightyJaboc]

@SydneyNichole13 I have never played with manual controls because I’m not a bitch baby who needs a computer to help me play mario kart

[jacob parker @TheMightyJaboc]

@horchatatrash Can’t blame him for dreaming big

[jacob parker @TheMightyJaboc]

Absolute Chaos is gas stations that don’t have parking lot lines

[Nihilist Arby's @nihilist_arbys]

Yes. You’re a disappointment to your parents, but look at the bright side, you’re not the one who gave birth to an unloveable fuck up, they are.

Eat arbys

[Burger King @BurgerKing]

2

[jacob parker @TheMightyJaboc]

@horchatatrash This is my go to picture for airdrops. Feel free to use it

[jacob parker @TheMightyJaboc]

@ChaybrinK I couldn’t make it past 20 seconds if my life depended on it. I haven’t been so uncomfortable in a long time

[jacob parker @TheMightyJaboc]

@horchatatrash Too bad man. It’s always sad to see such good friendships end

[jacob parker @TheMightyJaboc]

@horchatatrash He was the real life professor xavier

[jacob parker @TheMightyJaboc]

@neilknapp69 Well then consider me blocked because this had me ROLF’ing!!

[jacob parker @TheMightyJaboc]

@neilknapp69 Stop

[jacob parker @TheMightyJaboc]

HELP!! i cant hear AFRICA by TOTO without getting an enormous ERECTION

[jacob parker @TheMightyJaboc]

@SydneyNichole13 @alxpaine It’s to better stimulate the clitoris

[jacob parker @TheMightyJaboc]

@SydneyNichole13 @alxpaine Ah yes, my penis also has an arm sticking out of it

[jacob parker @TheMightyJaboc]

Bernie mac

[R.L. Stine @RL_Stine]

Hey, everyone— pump up the jam.

[Norm Kelly @norm]

Kim Jong Un is a Jake Pauler.

[Dana Goldberg @DGComedy]

Alex Jones said that lesbians are torturing women and eating their brains.

Ummmmm...Alex? That’s not

What

We

Eat.

[jacob parker @TheMightyJaboc]

@horchatatrash Dude if you had finger sized legs you could just pretend your legs got blown off or something amd cover them with a blanket. You get to do sick tricks in a wheelchair all day and get free sympathy. I’m 100% decided.