Manguis

if U know me in real life..U should block me.

[Kellalena @topaz_kell]

Nothing haunts me like the drinks I didn't finish.

[Kellalena @topaz_kell]

My life is an open book that requires a secret decoder pen to read it.

[Donna T @sweetg35]

My advice is to never listen to advice.

[Donna T @sweetg35]

Don't let the phone get the best of you, hahahaha yeah right!

[Donna T @sweetg35]

The best part of the workday is leaving and going home!

[Donna T @sweetg35]

Take the good, subtract the bad!

Life

[Donna T @sweetg35]

It's easy to lose your mind, getting it back requires GPS!

[Donna T @sweetg35]

No need to drive me crazy, I can walk from here!

Me to myself.

[Genevieve @Gen22]

Sits next to you on an empty bus reading your phone

Flirting is hard

[Lone_Star @Carter_TCB]

Ok. Enough wallowing in self-pity. *pours self a huge Vodka drink

[Whatever @ms_snippety]

Oh, your boyfriend hasn't responded to the 42 texts you've sent him since you last saw him an hr ago? Nor answered the 12 calls you made?

[Whatever @ms_snippety]

*crawls onto your lap to take a nap

[Whatever @ms_snippety]

The more inappropriate you are, the stronger my attraction towards you

[Demhater @CarpentersCrack]

People who ride in the left lane.... Fuck you.

[Demhater @CarpentersCrack]

Shopping in a really nice pair of pajama pants, just to show everyone here at Walmart that I'm upper class.

[Demhater @CarpentersCrack]

If I had to add water and stir it... It's homemade.

[Demhater @CarpentersCrack]

Tyler on Facebook says he ran 1.7 miles this morning… So based on calculations, I have 35 minutes to ransack his house tomorrow morning.

[Demhater @CarpentersCrack]

I can't decide on weather to buy a lake house or pay my Verizon bill.

[Demhater @CarpentersCrack]

It doesn't matter if I'm running a chainsaw, digging a hole or using a wood chipper.... I always think about the same person.

[Demhater @CarpentersCrack]

Being a good person isn't always about all that you do right, sometimes it's about seeing when you're wrong.