whole truth imho

45 y/o kid fluent in sarcasm & movie quotes. Tells the truth (in my humble opinion). Single mom, sucky ex. #passionsense #itscalledcollege #aparentapparently

[whole truth imho @WholeTruthIMHO]

How would YOU explain PMS to a child?

“Mommy is a unique creature, kind of like a werewolf. As the moon changes, so too can a woman. While we are mostly loving, caring and sane...once a month, we can also be irrational, irritable bitches with claws. But you need us, so deal.”

[whole truth imho @WholeTruthIMHO]

Question: Does a woman HAVE to go through a certain amount of effort and participation with dating and dating apps or can she just jump ahead and purchase a “boyfriend pillow”?

I see they’re currently on sale (the pillows, not the men).

Asking for a friend.

[whole truth imho @WholeTruthIMHO]

How we discuss politics in our house:

[whole truth imho @WholeTruthIMHO]

It’s quite common for women to read various erotica options available online. We read, fantasize and love it…likely due to the many female orgasms…even if we read in envy.

If you’re a guy, why you would NOT read at least as much as we do…and TAKE NOTES ?

[Jason @PREM1186]

@WholeTruthIMHO Maybe the new saying, "moan means no," should be cancelled

[whole truth imho @WholeTruthIMHO]

Free advice, Guys.

Girls are not really THAT much more complicated than y’all.

If you want a girl, and you want to keep her, learn how to give her multiple orgasms. And do so frequently.

That’s it and that’s all. 👍🏼

#passionsense

[whole truth imho @WholeTruthIMHO]

I guess no matter what the conflict is, there is no way to sugarcoat, “Sorry, kids, there exists ANYTHING that could be more important to your dad than you.”

I feel ya. I have one of my own. Let me know if you learn anything. :/

#coparentingsucks @coparentingmeh @wendyclarlaw

[Co-Parenting Meh @coparentingmeh]

Advice Needed.

I haven’t said a negative word about their dad EVER but I don’t know how to explain this. He’s ditching his boys on Father’s Day.

They can’t at least stay overnight to feed him breakfast in bed?

@COParentsMatter @CoParentingIntl @coparenting101
@coparentinginfo

[whole truth imho @WholeTruthIMHO]

My kids still haven’t realized that I filled out my bracket in lightly applied pencil with every intention of adjusting any wrong guesses in my favor. I’ll let y’all know when they catch on. My guess is Sunday.

@MarchMadnessWBB @MarchMadnessMBB

[whole truth imho @WholeTruthIMHO]

@ByCoupletMade I’m pretty sure you’re allowed to bail at the second snub. You’re a better person than I am to allow so many chances.

[whole truth imho @WholeTruthIMHO]

@DaddingAround Depends what sort of mood I want them in later. If I need them to be good, I might let them win. But if we’re not doing anything special? Eff them. “H6 and I know I just sunk your battleship, punk.”

[whole truth imho @WholeTruthIMHO]

Remember way back when, if you got x quantity of coke, you’d say, “we’ll stop at midnight and save the rest” but instead you kept going and going until it was all gone in the early AM?

Replace “coke” with “batteries” and that describes me and my favorite vibrator these days.

[whole truth imho @WholeTruthIMHO]

Guys, help me understand…

You’re making out with a girl for the first time and you do something that makes her throw her head back and moan in a way she hasn’t yet. She even tells you she loves it.

Since when does that mean, “Stop immediately!”?

[Co-Parenting Meh @coparentingmeh]

I think I figured out the rule.

If you can no longer have sex with your wife because you feel like you’d be cheating on your girlfriend…

THAT’S when you know it’s time to make it official.

Sound about right? 🤷‍♀️

[whole truth imho @WholeTruthIMHO]

Dear Universe,
I’ll take either hot flashes OR a menstrual cycle.
But not both.
Don’t be a dick.
Thanks.

[whole truth imho @WholeTruthIMHO]

@flagmytweets Much more now, of course. 😇

[whole truth imho @WholeTruthIMHO]

@flagmytweets Zero. Hence, divorced.

[whole truth imho @WholeTruthIMHO]

The moment you find yourself on a romantic date with a super sweet guy whom you find yourself inviting in afterwards…only to find his thingie is not so easy to find…

#disappointed #shakinghead #datingdisaster #isitin ?

[whole truth imho @WholeTruthIMHO]

If you were to build a perfectly safe MacGyver-esque jail cell in your own home and [gently] toss one of your kids inside for a bit (with plans to feed, water, entertain, allow bathroom and shower break, etc.)…is that legal?

[whole truth imho @WholeTruthIMHO]

Merchandising revamp:

“Menstruating Barbie”
- with coordinating accessories like jammies, granny panties, and an automated ability to punch Ken in the throat if he gets too close.

#wethinkitsawinner

[whole truth imho @WholeTruthIMHO]

@LuvPug Sure…right after they invent “Menstruating Barbie” with coordinating accessories like jammies, granny panties, and an automated ability to punch Ken in the throat if he gets too close.

[whole truth imho @WholeTruthIMHO]

@Lhlodder I set my alarm 20 minutes early to take some Adderall and Xanax, depending on the day. Does that count??

[whole truth imho @WholeTruthIMHO]

For a girl who just had knee surgery, does it count as physical therapy to be on top during sex??

It should. IMHO.