Sarcastic ChurchBand

Saying it like it is. We're the ones who make the worship leader look good. Go ahead, fire us.

[Sarcastic ChurchBand @WorshipSarcasm]

@alyson_dam @z_bAk Ahem. THE wOke G.O.A.T.

[Aly Dam :) @alyson_dam]

what did i learn at work this week?

@z_bAk is a wOke GOAT

🤷🏼‍♀️

[Jonny Rose @98rosjon]

Really impressive work from @DBagWorshipGuy and his worship band here: https://t.co/z7Z6YsafHt

[Sarcastic ChurchBand @WorshipSarcasm]

Absolutely!

Gotta love when evangelicals take quotes from fictional characters in stories (oops, better call them parables) and make hard theology out of it

I’m sure his welcoming salutation will be more personal than a single phrase that’s been said for millennia

💁🏻‍♂️

[Sarcastic ChurchBand @WorshipSarcasm]

Sorry for being a bad evangelical.

[Sarcastic ChurchBand @WorshipSarcasm]

Sloppy wet > unforeseen
✅ reckless
❌ daddy god

#WhereImAt 🤷🏻‍♂️

[Sarcastic ChurchBand @WorshipSarcasm]

@DBagWorshipGuy Solid.

For those who can make it through 180 proof (y’all know most can’t even handle it), they’ll be blessed with that third title, but then brought back to relevance by song 6 😏👌🏼

[Church Curmudgeon @ChrchCurmudgeon]

Pro tip: Don't let the guy who really, really wants to teach eschatology teach eschatology.

[Sarcastic ChurchBand @WorshipSarcasm]

Can’t wait to go to Israel. All sorts of craft breweries in Tel Aviv

[Sarcastic ChurchBand @WorshipSarcasm]

You can get away with cussing if it's in a joke or a sermon

[Sarcastic ChurchBand @WorshipSarcasm]

Like an addict going back for a hit of something destructive, I'm obsessed with @BibleStdntsSay even though it gives me a headache in the theologies 😩

[Sarcastic ChurchBand @WorshipSarcasm]

@BibleStdntsSay I am so done with that BIBLE acronym.

[Sarcastic ChurchBand @WorshipSarcasm]

😂😂😂 https://t.co/UL9IqVCGJk

[Sarcastic ChurchBand @WorshipSarcasm]

Lead guitar is frantic with his pedalboard, ripping cables apart.
Worship leader looks at it calmly and realized Mix knob on Nova is at 0.

[Sarcastic ChurchBand @WorshipSarcasm]

NEW CHARACTER!!!
#yaaaaass https://t.co/aAfJwGEs8W

[Radio Free Babylon @RFBNetwork]

Introducing a new character, James. Monday's Coffee with Jesus Is called " David & Goliath" .

[Sarcastic ChurchBand @WorshipSarcasm]

Gonna keep raising the key until Holy Spirit shows up 🙌🏼🙌🏼

[Sarcastic ChurchBand @WorshipSarcasm]

...while asking people if they've yet signed the Nashville Statement https://t.co/1xeOfQdLOh

[The Babylon Bee @TheBabylonBee]

Joel Osteen Sails Luxury Yacht Through Flooded Houston To Pass Out Copies Of ‘Your Best Life Now’ https://t.co/9yRrMaxRwa

[The Babylon Bee @TheBabylonBee]

Thousands Saved After Worship Band Nails Sick Bass Drop https://t.co/7Sl048YgEi

[Sarcastic ChurchBand @WorshipSarcasm]

Gotta test out the new toilet in the men's room. Can it handle a little pre-service destruction?

#tweetsfromthecan