nature boy

me and you are like worms in a can of worms 🪱🪱🪱🌿🍄🦎💁🏳️‍⚧️🙆‍♂️🪲🍓🌱

[nature boy @__stonefruit]

groundhog day except it’s me and every morning i wake up to “bennie and the jets”

[nature boy @__stonefruit]

my fiancé won’t let me read the entirety the book “stick man” to them on the drive to work 👿

[nature boy @__stonefruit]

@legallyrosalind !!! i used to dream about having an unreasonable number of rodents in one cage 😰

[nature boy @__stonefruit]

does anyone else have beast dreams

[nature boy @__stonefruit]

my dreams are usually like this

[nature boy @__stonefruit]

@wellsonastring yes

[nature boy @__stonefruit]

giving my 2 week notice at the worst job i’ve ever had is like so crazy because why am i worried they’ll be mad at me

[nature boy @__stonefruit]

i love when a child is an agent of chaos

[nature boy @__stonefruit]

i’m always getting jobs that calvin’s dad would say “build character”

[nature boy @__stonefruit]

saw a woman in walmart testing out pillows like she was choosing a murder weapon to use on her husband

[horse dentist @equine__dentist]

me every time i have a tummy ache

[nature boy @__stonefruit]

@HonoraryWarlock @happyg1rlmaggie we missed you at the L18 orgy 😉🥲

[nature boy @__stonefruit]

the best thing about being an adult is you can have a fluffernutter for lunch and no one will know unless you tweet about it

[nature boy @__stonefruit]

@lashon__hara okay ✌️😇

[nature boy @__stonefruit]

need to pee (get a job) after sex (undergrad) so i don’t get an STI (mfa)

[nature boy @__stonefruit]

it’s crazy how mean people will be on the phone just because they weren’t the right person to answer your question

[nature boy @__stonefruit]

@alexkrokus i think about this one all the time. would you ever consider selling a print of this?

[nature boy @__stonefruit]

fuck i double booked myself again and now bedtime and snack time are both now o’clock