Emma

just woke up

[Trixie Mattel™ @trixiemattel]

hello clit

[lonzo☆ nim population control crew @unholyphone]

never forget this generational run

[L☆VIE ᥫ᭡ @thereallovieee]

My auntie ashes just flew in my face I hope dat wasn't her pussy

[Dolly Parton @DollyParton]

If I tried to jog with these boobs, I'd end up with two black eyes! Enjoy the beautiful weather!!

[⋆｡𖦹° ꕤ @rakkofan]

i wake up, i cry over spilt milk, put all of my eggs in one basket, bite off more than i can chew, jump the gun, fly off the handle and then die on that hill

[Blizzy @blizzy_mcguire]

me when i see a gag

[Jack Subpar @SuisizeMe]

Flipping through the titles on hulu, making a point to scroll past brokeback mountain at the exact same tempo as the other films, not gayly slow or homophobicly fast

[saliva plath @cryptofeminism]

Guys that work at weed dispensaries are like “No bro I swear it’s not gonna feel like you’ve been wrapped with bandages and locked in a sarcophagus for 2 thousand years” meanwhile the strain is named The Mummy’s Curse Comes True

[tanya @Tanya_Sabrinaaa]

woman who's husband didn't make her cum before he finished: noooo pleeease babe i've got blue flaps it hurts so bad

[hasaan ⚝ @monasriel]

tjis tweet

[Ron Iver @ronnui_]

I hate how gullible I am in my dreams. Someone is like "bro remember, you're the prince of frosting mountain?" And I'm like I forgot yeah of course I am, I'm such a fucking idiot

[eviee is marrying rosalina @shrineofeviee]

why is this photo being vacuumed from the bottom right corner

[DOJA CAT @DojaCat]

hey elon if u see this please put the audio post feature back on here. Thanks, u frog build looking bitch. Barrel chested ewok u look like u eat sand.

[CM @conormurrayTM]

“That’s funny, I’ve never heard of a George Glass at our sküle” is the greatest line delivery of all time.

[RuPaul @RuPaul]

Darkness cannot survive in the presence of light. Now put THAT between 2 buns & eat it

[matt @mattybtweets69]

There’s a disease going so viral that you can catch it just by looking at someone with it. It’s called, a smile :)

[jayonce @JAYACTII]

cock and ball? really Janet?

[Ụlọma 💜 @ulxma]

When you as a woman realise that every culture has their definition of ‘prostitute’—the woman with her hair out, the unmarried woman, women who live alone, who wear red lipstick, who work, etc—you will understand that prostitute means woman, & you will fight for your liberation.