| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name |

☣ reclusive ⬝ uncomfortable ⬝ godawful jokes ⚛ small+strange ⬝ quietly curious
⬝ perpetually pessimistic ⬝ cmedy lover ⬝ full-time nobody ⬝ i hve gray hairs ⬝

[| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | @_maybe_not_ever]

your honor, i’d like to plead a little bit guilty

[Horatio Quartzjixler @Quartzjixler]

Maybe your baby is crying because you don't know when to use "affect" versus "effect."

[dyl the tamandua @dyllikethepickl]

what if ice cream was made with car parts instead of milk

[Dr Quinn, Medicine Weirdo @pettyruxpinz]

I'll retweet anything I like because I'm not in a cult

[•ultra glitch• @highsieze6]

girl who answers a question with a question

[leanne @toothgarden]

would you still love me if i was an email

[grace @gracefishlove]

(at the dentist) u forgot to ask but i am sexually active

[Fuckin’ Princess @8WithaTiara]

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a fucking second

[garshmo @garshmo]

Omg you cry so ugly please face the wall

[| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | @_maybe_not_ever]

@MomOnFire 🤍🤍

[| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | @_maybe_not_ever]

not to get too political, but imagine getting stuck with a president named “JD”

[josh b @y0cuando]

Pronouncing oatmeal like Montreal

[| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | @_maybe_not_ever]

@AngrySkycrane 😂😂

[| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | @_maybe_not_ever]



[Jack @FuneralDrinker]

I'm in the break room helping a coworker look for his hot pocket that I ate this morning

[chance @chanceposts]

I bet it feels sooooo good to violate an NDA

[Jack @FuneralDrinker]

Just ate some bacon from Dollar Tree and now my neck won’t turn

[| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | @_maybe_not_ever]

@SortaBad bro I’m not recent

[Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO]

Bad news, citizens. I find I have a bit of knowledge I cannot attribute to any source.

[| b̶r̶i̶t̶t̶a̶n̶y̶’s̶ name | @_maybe_not_ever]

@highsieze6 perfect in every way

[•ultra glitch• @highsieze6]

no i love ur extensive collection of blunt objects