You can tell a lot about a person by the way they speak of love, especially when they say they do not want it, or that having a partner will become a blockage to the life they are meant to build. More often than not, it is an ideology of love constructed from trauma, disappointment, fear, and the slow humiliation of believing that what they truly desire may never arrive.
Everyone wants love. At the end of the day, when the world has gone quiet and you are lying in your bed with nothing left to perform, to prove, to distract yourself with, the body still seeks warmth, connection, recognition, and the unbearable tenderness of being known by someone who chooses to stay. People deny this and call it freedom because they have started thinking that hopelessness is enlightenment.
Love does not block growth. Love reveals where growth is still required. It will not always arrive as softness, ease, and gilded reassurance. Sometimes it will come as confrontation, rupture, discomfort, patience, repair, and the excruciating demand to remain present with another human being when every wounded part of you wants to run. You have to stay long enough to discover what the love is trying to make of you.
The right love gives you a centre from which you can enter the world with greater courage. You become more free to explore, build, create, risk, and become, because you are no longer moving through life with that quiet, subterranean ache of wondering whether anyone truly loves you, or whether all your striving is only an elaborate attempt to distract yourself from the absence of home.
When you are loved properly, the question of what you are working so hard for begins to answer itself. You are building for a life that can hold love, protect it, honour it, and make it easier for both of you to exist inside the world.
Those who have truly loved know this intimately. Love is one of the most brutal, sacred, and transformative forces through which you truly grow.
जब तक हम लोगों की उम्मीदों के अनुसार जीते रहते हैं,तब तक हम उन्हें अच्छे लगते हैं मगर जिस दिन हम अपनी सोच के साथ खड़े होना सीख लेते हैं,उनकी हर बात पर हाँ कहना छोड़ देते हैं,
उसी दिन उन्हें लगता है कि हम बदल गए हैं जबकि सच तो यह है कि उस दिन पहली बार हम खुद के होने लगते हैं...!
Bad environments and bad company make you bad people. Do not fool yourself thinking you are above it. When you identify a bad space, figure a way to get out before you become the very thing you dislike.
Game theory explains why the person with fewer options becomes easier to control. Desperation narrows the decision tree until every bad offer starts looking like survival. This is why your first duty is to build exits. Money, competence, reputation, allies, and emotional detachment are not luxuries. They are escape routes from being priced cheaply.
यदि तुम बरसों बाद घर लौटकर आओ -तो वे एकदम पहचान लेते हैं, पर वे यह नहीं जानते, तुम कहाँ से लौटकर आए हो। वे कभी सोच नहीं सकते कि इतनी यातना सहकर उन्होंने जिसे जन्म दिया है, वह बड़ा होकर इतनी यातना बर्दाश्त कर सकता है...
~निर्मल वर्मा🌷
I want a quiet life. Calm mornings. Sipping coffee alone. Walks in nature. Working on my purpose. Chilling with 2 people. Seeking meaning. Contemplating on things that matter. Growing a little everyday. A slow peaceful quiet life. That'll do.
@shivamxjha Someone can be great in all aspects but suck at romantic relationships. Romantic relationships expose us to our triggers, attachment & childhood trauma.. besides some ppl also have personality disorders, they’re one thing to the world & completely different behind closed doors.
When I'm stuck in a rut, I bore myself. Consciously. I cut off all stimulation. I spend a whole day alone. Literally doing nothing. Staring at the wall. Looking out the window. Going for long walks, no music. Just sitting at my desk sipping green tea. No TV. No books. No phones. No scrolling. No entertainment. Nothing. I live in a state of total blankness. And the next day, ideas flow in like a flood breaking through a dam. Boredom is a doorway.
The most underrated act of kindness is simply letting people be. Let them mispronounce a word, talk too much about a show they love, or get excited about something you don't quite understand. Everyone has something that lights them up, let them shine, even if it's not your thing.
The work you are going to do is your life’s work. So you don’t need to be in hurry.
Keep thinking what you are optimizing for.
Keep coming back to this article, as a north star.
I read a quote that said
"The faster that you do the hard things you want to avoid, the faster you will receive the good things you actually want"
and that has changed my whole perspective.
The best sex you’ve ever had isn’t from the prettiest girl you ever dated. Not even close, and a lot of life has just as equal polarity. Your most fun job probably didn’t pay you shit. Your favorite uncle is probably the family reject/least successful..