Alan Hind

Retired. Any views expressed entirely my own! Keen caravanner & HTFC fan. Ex Bassoonist

[bob mortimer @RealBobMortimer]

So so sad.A lovely brilliant funny giant of a bloke. Oh Man....RIP Chris .. Boro legend forever. Love to family and friends.

[Alan Hind @alanhind]

Been over at Brid all week and watched @peter_levy argue with just about every guest on @BBCLookNorth

That fella could start an argument in an empty room 😂😂

[Alan Hind @alanhind]

@SeanMJarvis There’s a club in the HD area that needs you back mate

[James Tate @JamesTate121]

Someone asked "Why do some British people not like Donald Trump?"

Nate White, an articulate and witty writer from England, wrote this magnificent response:

"A few things spring to mind.

Trump lacks certain qualities which the British traditionally esteem.

For instance, he has no class, no charm, no coolness, no credibility, no compassion, no wit, no warmth, no wisdom, no subtlety, no sensitivity, no self-awareness, no humility, no honour and no grace - all qualities, funnily enough, with which his predecessor Mr. Obama was generously blessed.

So for us, the stark contrast does rather throw Trump’s limitations into embarrassingly sharp relief.

Plus, we like a laugh. And while Trump may be laughable, he has never once said anything wry, witty or even faintly amusing - not once, ever.

I don’t say that rhetorically, I mean it quite literally: not once, not ever. And that fact is particularly disturbing to the British sensibility - for us, to lack humour is almost inhuman.

But with Trump, it’s a fact. He doesn’t even seem to understand what a joke is - his idea of a joke is a crass comment, an illiterate insult, a casual act of cruelty.

Trump is a troll. And like all trolls, he is never funny and he never laughs; he only crows or jeers.

And scarily, he doesn’t just talk in crude, witless insults - he actually thinks in them. His mind is a simple bot-like algorithm of petty prejudices and knee-jerk nastiness.

There is never any under-layer of irony, complexity, nuance or depth. It’s all surface.

Some Americans might see this as refreshingly upfront.

Well, we don’t. We see it as having no inner world, no soul.

And in Britain we traditionally side with David, not Goliath. All our heroes are plucky underdogs: Robin Hood, Dick Whittington, Oliver Twist.

Trump is neither plucky, nor an underdog. He is the exact opposite of that.

He’s not even a spoiled rich-boy, or a greedy fat-cat.

He’s more a fat white slug. A Jabba the Hutt of privilege.

And worse, he is that most unforgivable of all things to the British: a bully.

That is, except when he is among bullies; then he suddenly transforms into a snivelling sidekick instead.

There are unspoken rules to this stuff - the Queensberry rules of basic decency - and he breaks them all. He punches downwards - which a gentleman should, would, could never do - and every blow he aims is below the belt. He particularly likes to kick the vulnerable or voiceless - and he kicks them when they are down.

So the fact that a significant minority - perhaps a third - of Americans look at what he does, listen to what he says, and then think 'Yeah, he seems like my kind of guy’ is a matter of some confusion and no little distress to British people, given that:
* Americans are supposed to be nicer than us, and mostly are.
* You don't need a particularly keen eye for detail to spot a few flaws in the man.

This last point is what especially confuses and dismays British people, and many other people too; his faults seem pretty bloody hard to miss.

After all, it’s impossible to read a single tweet, or hear him speak a sentence or two, without staring deep into the abyss. He turns being artless into an art form; he is a Picasso of pettiness; a Shakespeare of shit. His faults are fractal: even his flaws have flaws, and so on ad infinitum.

God knows there have always been stupid people in the world, and plenty of nasty people too. But rarely has stupidity been so nasty, or nastiness so stupid.

He makes Nixon look trustworthy and George W look smart.

In fact, if Frankenstein decided to make a monster assembled entirely from human flaws - he would make a Trump.

And a remorseful Doctor Frankenstein would clutch out big clumpfuls of hair and scream in anguish:

'My God… what… have… I… created?

If being a twat was a TV show, Trump would be the boxed set."

[Alan Hind @alanhind]

@BorisJohnson

[Alan Hind @alanhind]

@mariannaspring Well deserved! Go easy with the sunbathing and also the tequilas 😂😂

[Alan Hind @alanhind]

@MWWTMs currently rewatching your Spain 2019 video series on YouTube and noticed you stopped uploading content shortly afterwards. Miss your videos - hope you’re all well and still caravanning!

[Alan Hind @alanhind]

@NicolaForwood Just you now, Nicola 😂😂

[Alan Hind @alanhind]

@KeeleyDonovan LOVED your sofa forecast tonight with @AmyGarciauk. No maps, just the facts. Make it a feature every Friday! @BBCLookNorth

[Alan Hind @alanhind]

@elonmuskADO No

[Alan Hind @alanhind]

@katemacrae What a great story - so welcome after another grim news bulletin. Now following!

[Susan Pym @susan_pym]

@ruskin147 I hope the conspiracy theorists, those who made up lies about Kate, who hounded and bullied her over the Mother’s Day photo, I hope they feel totally ashamed. Her statement was brave but also brimming with her thinking of others as well as her own family. Always caring.

[Rory Cellan-Jones @ruskin147]

Gosh, I wonder how those who spread conspiracy theories about the Princess of Wales are feeling now. Any family that has had to think about sharing a cancer diagnosis with their children will feel deep sympathy

[Alan Hind @alanhind]

Triggers: A Life In Music, the brilliant new book by @GlenMatlock. Much more than being about an ex-Pistol this is a great rock and roll story. A man who has observed 6 decades of history in music, who also has some pretty spot on observations about the world we live in now

[Alan Hind @alanhind]

After just 3 episodes this podcast has jumped to the top of my playlist. Required listening for any social media user

[Marianna Spring @mariannaspring]

EXCL: London Mayor Sadiq Khan says deep fake audio of him supposedly making inflammatory remarks almost caused "serious disorder".

I tracked down man who shared clip first and remorseful users for Radio 4 pod exploring extraordinary cases of online hate. https://t.co/NW6qP6p0Bq

[Alan Hind @alanhind]

@normal_danny @FastRunning A real common sense article.

[Alan Hind @alanhind]

@normal_danny

[Alan Hind @alanhind]

Just listened to the first 2 podcasts of this. A “must listen” for everyone imho

[Marianna Spring @mariannaspring]

🚨 First eps of Radio 4’s Why Do You Hate Me Podcast out now! One woman regrets posting she was Maddie McCann & a man believed conspiracies about shooting he survived.

I investigate extraordinary cases of online hate weekly.

Is forgiveness possible?

https://t.co/8r6SjAp5wK

[Alan Hind @alanhind]

@Hudsonweather a couple of pics from Skeldergate Bridge in York at dusk today

[Alan Hind @alanhind]

@melhappens And so it began…..

[Alan Hind @alanhind]

I think they should rename it Tasker Hill!

[Melanie @melhappens]

Still battling with mega cold so #volunteering at #parkrun today. Waiting for everyone to come up Shouty Hill @Huddsparkrun @twobytwo_