aaaa

[Max Powers @ManginaMcCool]

For a bunch of regular people just taking self-pictures, you've done a phenomenal job of capturing the self-loathing and angst in your life.

[Blissy @PyrBliss]

Some days you just have to say 'Fuck It,' like 78 times a day.

[Blissy @PyrBliss]

My suicide note will just be my monthly bank statement with the negative available balance highlighted in yellow.

[Blissy @PyrBliss]

Putting the roll of wrapping paper between my legs and doing an overly exaggerated jerk-off motion is how I feel about wrapping presents.

[Blissy @PyrBliss]

I only judge people by their looks because I don't like ugly people.

[Niki @NikiWithIssues]

It's my boyfriend's birthday today so naturally tonight I'm gonna give him a long, mind-blowing, eye-watering, breath-taking headache excuse

[Niki @NikiWithIssues]

A cool fun way to stop his snoring so you can finally get some sleep is to separate the head from the body.

[Niki @NikiWithIssues]

No matter how many times I've done this waking up thing, I still suck at it.

[aaaa @aldfuoedf]

I'm just gonna pack up & go straight to hell now.

[WeaponsGradeBitch @AComicTragedy]

Fuck that anger management shit.
There are still *lots* of people to punch.

[Blissy @PyrBliss]

I have plenty of good moods, just not when you're around.

[Blissy @PyrBliss]

Ten times out of always, people are too stupid to realize they're annoying as fuck.

[Blissy @PyrBliss]

Oh, look! The sun is up and so are both my middle fingers. Have a great day, you stupid fucks.

[Blissy @PyrBliss]

Dragging your comforter and pillow out to the couch shows Sunday you mean serious business about being lazy.

[Blissy @PyrBliss]

It's amazing how much I love people when I'm never around them.

[Blissy @PyrBliss]

Went to bed at 4. Birds woke me up at 6. I'm no mathematician, but those numbers should add up to me being a super bitch today.

[Paul Rudd's Nuts! @Jimboleem]

After 5 years together, I have finally found my girlfriends clitoris.....

Who could of guessed that this whole time it was on her sister.

[aaaa @aldfuoedf]

Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives.

[aaaa @aldfuoedf]

I don't like thinking before I say something... I like to be just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out my mouth!

[aaaa @aldfuoedf]

I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and SHIT a better argument than that!